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-by BitterGrey
Clearly, there is no standard set of ABDL practices. However, there are a few activities that are common enough to be worth mentioning.
A difficult choice that ABDLs must face is who to tell about their interests. This offers the possibility of being accepted for who they are, and not having to hide. However, it also includes the risk of disgrace at home, school, and work. While this is generally not the first practice to be engaged in, the ABDL needs to consider this before other practices, because all practices include the risk of being discovered. Definitely, this decision must be considered carefully. There are some questions to consider before coming out.
This decision is more complicated for AB/DL parents who must choose what to tell the children, and when. (The same author, Stormbird, also offers parent-to-parent advice for the opposite situation, parents with an AB/DL child.
Wearing diapers is a common practice among ABDLs. The urge to wear diapers is generally considered to be their defining trait. However, not all ABDLs wear diapers. Adult babies often wear other articles of adult-sized baby clothing as well. A smaller number might invest in furniture, etc.
When wearing diapers,
many ABDLs like to urinate in them. Others do not wet their
diapers, either because they find it gross, or simply don't enjoy
it. Some ABDLs who wet also like to soil their diapers. Others
don't because they find it gross, don't enjoy it, don't want to
go through the cleanup afterwards, or aren't in a place where they
can mess themselves without being obvious. Some ABDLs have
difficulty wetting their diapers when they want to. This can be moderated by
retraining shy bladders. Some simulate the feel of a messy diaper by using
bananas, oatmeal, or cheese.
A common compromise between wanting to wear diapers and needing to go about daily life is to wear diapers under normal clothing. While ABs do this, they would do so in their everyday mindset, as opposed to an infantile one. ABs and DLs who do this may need to pay more attention to how detectable their diapers are than they would need to if they were wearing them for medical reasons. This is especially true of those who still live at home with their parents, or wear diapers at work. They need to maintain a level of stealth, so their diapers aren't detected. In other circumstances, the ABDL might be OK being simply discrete, so that it isn't obvious that he is diapered. If a passerby on the street that noticed the diapers, he or she would probably dismiss them as medically necessary.
The ABDL urges often focus on a specific type of diaper. ABDLs raised in disposable diapers might not be interested in cloth diapers at all. The interests of older ABDLs may be specific to cloth diapers, or the waterproof pants worn with them. This focus can give a clue to the age at which the urges developed. Some ABDLs spent their infancy in cloth, but ended up focused on the disposables that they were exposed to as children. ABDLs who wear diapers under their clothing might wear either type, for practical reasons.
A common desire among ABs is to wear diapers all the time. However, the enjoyment of actually wearing diapers 24/7 varies. Some enjoy wearing diapers all the time, while others find wearing them intermittently more enjoyable and/or more practical. While there is substantial variation between individuals, using diapers all the time may reduce urinary control. Some ABs actively seek to loose urinary control through hypnosis or behavioral untraining methods. A few ABs also wish to soil themselves uncontrollably, but more try to simulate uncontrollable messing using laxatives..
Some younger ABDLs suffer a destructive binge-purge cycle. Similar to food-related binge-purge cycles, this involves oscillating between an unmoderated desire to quit immediately, and the pent up urge to take ABDL to excesses.
There are many ways for ABDLs to meet. Over the internet, there are a number of IRC channels, with varying levels of activity. There are also online forums, such as Baby Lai's infantilism.org. There are also email-based groups, such as Big Babies, Infantilists, and Friends (BBIF), which also has some regional chapters. Many larger cities have ABDL lunch or dinner meeting at restaurants, called
"munches."
. BabyMichael has written about how to start a munch in your area. These cities may also have house parties or other gatherings.
The ABDLs in the furry fandom, called babyfurs
are particularly well-connected. They have gathering places on online games, such as
the nurseries of furrymuck, as well as at the larger furry conventions.
A difficult part of life as an ABDL is finding a compatible spouse. For DLs, the search is difficult because there are few DLs in the general population. For ABs, the search is harder still because there is no clear counterpart. That is, while there is a set of urges driving some adults to be babied, there isn't a matching set of urges driving others to baby adults. In contrast, a masochist can find happiness with a sadist, for example. Some ABDLs are willing to be 'switch' mommies or daddies, either taking turns as the baby, or tending to 'baby' while wearing diapers under their own clothing. Nonetheless, the high demand for female ABDLs causes some to be secretive to avoid being overwhelmed by those looking for mommies. Female ABDLs are not necessarily willing to be mommies. Typically, ABDLs need to find a partner from the general population that is sufficiently maternal, paternal, or open-minded. ABDLs should discuss their interests with their spouse before the marriage.
For DLs, there are prostitutes open-minded enough for diapers. For ABs, there are professional 'adult babysitters.'
As in everything else, the newness and novelty of specific ABDL practices eventually wears off. This habituation is why movies that we've seen many times don't seem as intense, and why movies are becoming more violent over time. Some ABDLs are stable and continue doing what they have been doing, at about the same frequency. Others will try new things to maintain the novelty. These new practices are usually more elaborate and extreme. This pursuit continues until stability is reached, or some other factor limits the escalation.
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Level: General | Status: Final | Last Update: 9 May 2007| First: 18 Jan 2006