-by BitterGrey
Clearly, there is no standard set of AB/DL practices. However, there are a few activities that are common enough to be worth mentioning.
Wearing diapers is a common practice among AB/DLs. The urge to wear diapers is generally considered to be their defining trait. However, not all AB/DLs wear diapers. Adult babies often wear other articles of adult-sized baby clothing as well. A smaller number might invest in furniture, etc.
When wearing diapers, about eight in ten AB/DLs enjoy urinating in them, with another one in ten enjoying it sometimes[STATS]. Others do not wet their diapers, either because they find it gross, or simply don't enjoy it. Some AB/DLs have difficulty wetting their diapers when they want to. This can be moderated by retraining shy bladders.
Adult diaper wearers are more prone to leak than babies are, because of differences in surface area ratios, the curvature of the gathers, and the shear loads. Multiple pairs of tapes on adult diapers attempt to offset these effects.
About three in ten enjoy defecating (or soiling, messing) in them, with another two in ten enjoying it sometimes[STATS]. Soiling is more commonly considered gross. It also involves more cleanup, and is more difficult to discretely do in public. Even at private AB/DL parties, messing is discouraged because of the odor. Some AB/DLs simulate the feel of a messy diaper by using bananas, oatmeal, or cheese in a practice called "diaper stuffing" [DEF]. Some others use chlorophyll [DEF] or Nullo [DEF] to reduce the odor.
A common compromise between wanting to wear diapers and needing to go about daily life is to wear diapers under normal clothing. While ABs do this, they would do so in their everyday mindset, as opposed to an infantile one. ABs and DLs who do this may need to pay more attention to how detectable their diapers are than they would need to if they were wearing them for medical reasons. This is especially true of those who still live at home with their parents, or wear diapers at work. They need to maintain a level of stealth, so their diapers aren't detected. In other circumstances, the AB/DL might be OK being simply discrete, so that it isn't obvious that he is diapered. If a passerby on the street that noticed the diapers, he or she would probably dismiss them as medically necessary.
The urge to wear diapers is specific to a particular type of diaper in about one in two AB/DLs[STATS]. AB/DLs raised in disposable diapers might not be interested in cloth diapers at all. The interests of older AB/DLs may be specific to cloth diapers, or the waterproof pants worn with them. This focus can give a clue to the age at which the urges developed. Some AB/DLs spent their infancy in cloth, but ended up focused on the disposables that they were exposed to as children. AB/DLs who wear diapers under their clothing might wear either type, for practical reasons.
One factor in the cloth vs. disposable decision is that unlike those with incontinence, AB/DLs often wear intermittently. Based on the AB/DL's tastes and situation, this might favor cloth, because they can be worn only when convenient. However, it also might favor disposables, since some of the inconveniences of using cloth don't vary with frequency. For example, unless the art of using cloth diapers without a pail is developed, the AB/DL would need to keep a diaper pail around, no matter how often or rarely he or she wore.
A common desire among ABs is to wear diapers all the time. However, the enjoyment of actually wearing diapers 24/7 varies. Some enjoy wearing diapers all the time, while others find wearing them intermittently more enjoyable and/or more practical. While there is substantial variation between individuals, using diapers all the time may reduce urinary control. Some ABs actively seek to loose urinary control through hypnosis or behavioral untraining methods. A few ABs also wish to soil themselves uncontrollably, but more try to simulate uncontrollable messing using laxatives..
A difficult choice that AB/DLs must face is who to tell about their interests. This offers the possibility of being accepted for who they are, and not having to hide. However, it also includes the risk of disgrace at home, school, and work. While this is generally not the first practice to be engaged in, the AB/DL needs to consider this before other practices, because all practices include the risk of being discovered. Definitely, this decision must be considered carefully. There are some questions to consider before coming out.
This decision is more complicated for AB/DL parents who must choose what to tell the children, and when. (The same author, Stormbird, also offers parent-to-parent advice for the opposite situation, parents with an AB/DL child.
Some younger AB/DLs suffer a destructive binge-purge cycle. Similar to food-related binge-purge cycles, this involves oscillating between an unmoderated desire to quit immediately, and the pent up urge to take AB/DL to excesses.
There are many ways for AB/DLs to meet. Over the internet, there are a number of IRC channels, with varying levels of activity. There are a number of online forums, such as ADISC, Aby.com, and DailyDiapers. There are also email-based groups, such as Big Babies, Infantilists, and Friends (BBIF), which also has some regional chapters. Many larger cities have AB/DL lunch or dinner meeting at restaurants, called "munches[DEF]." BabyMichael has written about how to start a munch in your area. These cities may also have house parties or other gatherings.
The AB/DLs in the furry fandom, called babyfurs [DEF] are particularly well-connected. They have gathering places on online games, such as the nurseries of furrymuck, as well as at the larger furry conventions.
A difficult part of life as an AB/DL is finding a compatible spouse. For DLs, the search is difficult because there are few DLs in the general population. For ABs, the search is harder still because there is no clear counterpart. That is, while there is a set of urges driving some adults to be babied, there isn't a matching set of urges driving others to baby adults. In contrast, a masochist can find happiness with a sadist, for example. Some AB/DLs are willing to be 'switch' mommies or daddies, either taking turns as the baby, or tending to 'baby' while wearing diapers under their own clothing. Nonetheless, the high demand for female AB/DLs causes some to be secretive to avoid being overwhelmed by those looking for mommies. Female AB/DLs are not necessarily willing to be mommies. Typically, AB/DLs need to find a partner from the general population that is sufficiently maternal, paternal, or open-minded. AB/DLs should discuss their interests with their spouse before the marriage.
For DLs, there are prostitutes open-minded enough for diapers. For ABs, there are professional 'adult babysitters.'
Roleplay involves assuming different roles as part of a scene. One archetypal AB/DL scene involves a male AB/DL assuming the role of a baby, and a woman assuming the role of mommy. Two out of ten AB/DLs roleplayed frequently, with another five of ten roleplaying sometimes [STATS]. The most commonly preferred role was that of a toddler, as opposed to newborn baby, older child, etc. In a 2006-2008 survey, no women reported a preference for a caregiver role, such as sitter or mommy. [1]
Roleplay might involve diapers, toys, and clothing. Similar to the costume and props used in theater, they serve to express and enforce the role. AB/DL roleplay is analogous to sadomasochistic roleplay, with differences in content, tone, and terminology.
While roleplaying, some AB/DLs also try to regress. That is, in addition to dressing and acting like a baby, they try to think like a baby as well.
As in everything else, the newness and novelty of specific AB/DL practices eventually wears off. This habituation is why movies that we've seen many times don't seem as intense, and why movies are becoming more violent over time. Some AB/DLs are stable and continue doing what they have been doing, at about the same frequency. Others will try new things to maintain the novelty. These new practices are usually more elaborate and extreme. This pursuit continues until stability is reached, or some other factor limits the escalation.
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Level: General | Last Update: 22 Nov 2009| First: 18 Jan 2006
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