By B. Terrance Grey
Briefly put, paraphilic infantilism is the desire to wear diapers and be treated like a baby [1]. It is often discussed alongside diaper fetishes. Those with infantilism tend to consider themselves adult babies (or ABs). Those with diaper fetishes tend to consider themselves diaper lovers (or DLs). Since many ABs also enjoy the interests of DLs and visa versa, they are collectively called AB/DLs or ABDLs.
Infantilism and diaper fetishism center around a core desire that almost always involves diapers. It might be similar to a lust or a hunger. Fetishes focus erotic energy on objects [2]. In diaper fetishism, the diaper itself becomes sexually arousing. This is similar to rubber fetishism, etc.
In contrast, infantilism focuses on the self. Paraphilic infantilism involves the desire to wear diapers as an expression of role. This roleplay may involve acting like and/or being treated as an infant, toddler, or small child. Infantilists are, in one sense, masochistic: Assuming the role of baby inherently involves surrendering control and status. While some translation is involved, the interests of infantilists expressed in concepts familiar to BDSM enthusiasts. However, these interests often don't include typical masochistic elements such as adult themed restraints. etc.[3].
Both paraphilic infantilism and diaper fetishes are included in the wide grouping of desires called paraphilias. This group also includes a number of desires that used to be called "perversions." These paraphilias are not mutually exclusive [4]: It is possible to have both infantilism and diaper fetishism.
Because these desires are persistent but typically harmless, those who have them rarely seek medical help[5]. Some would clearly not be helped[6]. If help is sought, it is often for secondary guilt or depression[7].
Some who have these urges might not remember ever being without them. Others might associate their onset with an event or date. Typically, these urges are recognized or surface between the ages of 5 and 15. However, onset as late at ages as late as 53 has been reported [8]. Older infantilists and diaper lovers may have thought that they were alone and kept their desire carefully hidden[9][10]. Only about one in twenty is female [11]. Most are heterosexual, but all orientations are present[12][13].
Informally, those who engage in roleplay as an infant or toddler typically call themselves adult babies (or ABs). Those who do not engage in roleplay typically call themselves diaper lovers (or DLs). Those with infantilism tend to consider themselves adult babies, while those with diaper fetishes tend to consider themselves diaper lovers. These are two of a number of typical trends among ABs and DLs. While each individual has particular interests, they collectively form a continuum. Because of this, they are collectively called AB/DLs. On average for every 10 AB/DLs, one would report being 'AB only,' two 'mostly AB', three 'equally AB and DL', three 'mostly DL', and one 'DL only'. [14]. (This distribution is qualitatively similar to previous surveys[15].)
A less ambiguous option to the AB and DL descriptors is to characterize by key themes: sexuality, loss of control, and regaining babyhood. Scenes and fantasies with these themes could be compared to fetishism, masochism, and transvestism respectively. There is, of course, a wide range of variations in AB/DL fantasies and practices. It has been speculated that
these tastes might give a clue to the original causes of ones infantilism.
Common fantasy elements include coercion, identification, regression, and exhibitionism. What infantilists actually do is more grounded in reality. For example, the AB fantasy of being someone's baby forever is common, but not generally practical[16]. Some common elements of practice include wearing diapers, wetting or messing, binge-purge cycles, etc. For ABs, these might be structured into short 'visits with one's more cuddly side' . Footed sleepers, stuffed animals, and toys might also be involved. The majority of adult babies prefer to play a toddler, as opposed to newborn or small child [11].
Infantilism is often incorrectly discussed as a fetish (e.g.[6][17]). In truth, the desires of AB/DLs are sexual in some, but not inherently sexual in others. Here again, individual AB/DLs have their own views, but collectively they form a continuum. About 4 in 10 include sexual practices, such as masturbation and intercourse, as an unrestricted part of their AB/DL games and fantasies. They are also the most likely to consider sexuality an important part. Another 4 in 10 excluded sexual practices from their AB/DL games and fantasies. They were most likely to report that sex 'must be absent.' For them, conventional sex might be present outside of their AB/DL games and fantasies. The remaining 2 in 10 reported that sexuality was an unimportant part of their AB/DL games and fantasies. They moderated the sexual practices or excluded them completely at particular times. [18].
No. Infantilism and diaper fetishes are often associated with pedophilia, even though they are not related[19].
Associating infantilism and pedophilia is like equating transvestites and womanizers. Both do involve skirts, after all. Simply put, a womanizer is a man who likes to stare possessively at women. More specifically, he likes to stare at women's private parts, such as those covered by skirts. In contrast, a male-to-female transvestite likes to wear skirts himself. Once this difference is understood, it is clear that womanzing and transvestism are not related.
Simply put, pedophiles are sexually attracted to children, infantilists wish to be babies themselves for a while, and diaper fetishists are attracted to diapers. The presence of one does not imply another.
Diaper use and regression are not unique to paraphilic infantilism and diaper fetishes. Because of this, they have been associated with a long list of other conditions and disorders. This list includes mental retardation [17], epilepsy[20], obsessive-compulsive disorder [21], head injury[22], dissociative identity disorder, etc[23]. However, very few AB/DLs have these other conditions. For example, AB/DLs are generally capable of functioning as ordinary adults when necessary, unlike those with mental retardation. AB/DLs are also generally conscious of their actions and remember them afterwards. In contrast, a person with a child alter due to dissociative identity disorder might have no memory of what happens when he or she is in that alternate identity. In addition, AB/DLs might enjoy non-repetitive scenes and fantasies, while those with obsessive compulsive disorder repeat their obsession to avoid some dreaded event or situation.
The conditions that infantilism and diaper fetishism might be confused with are generally more severe. For example, it is common for adult babies to have a fondness for stuffed animals. Stuffed animals are sometimes used as an indicator of borderline personality disorder in adults( [24] [25] [26]). Borderline personality disorder involves a pattern of instability in relationships and self-image[27]. It could be said that they are still going through an infant's transition towards self-awareness. Objects that play a role in this transition, called transitional objects, have a special status that fades when this transion is complete. Since adult babies have a mature sense of self, their stuffed animals do not have this special status. Borderline personality disorder also involves several serious symptoms absent in infantilism. If borderline personality disorder were present, stuffed animals, diaper use and regression would be the least of one's worries.
Most AB/DLs don't have any of these other disorders, but there are exceptions. Those experiencing medical or psychological symptoms more serious than diaper rash should consider seeking professional help.
We are all unique, but not alone. With one or two particular exceptions, the needs and wants of AB/DLs are common to us all.
Seeking the cause of one's infantilism might be worthwhile, but probably will not result in a "cure." For most AB/DLs, it was a major part of their youths, and will continue to be part of their lives. Evaluating one's infantilism is necessary, since there are a number of reasons why it might or might not be acceptable. This is important, since there are social and moral concerns that need to be addressed. The benefits of these pursuits largely affect individual AB/DLs.
One effort that has shown global benefits are improvements in communication and understanding[18]. Often stigmatized, and often confused with a number of things more sinister or serious, it is easy to get distracted from what infantilism basically is. The vast, individual variations in tastes and desires also help to distract. Paraphilic infantilism is the urge to wear diapers and act like a baby.
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Level: General | Status: Finished | Last Update: 1 May 2009| First:
Before 15 May 2001
Snuggies4me pointed out a necessary clarification: A good number of DLs arent submissive, so we we cant generalize that most DLs are masochistic, like we can with ABs. However, there is also a good number of DLs who are submissive. Thanks Snuggies4me!
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