-By B. Terrance Grey
Part of the
Survey Project at
Understanding.Infantilism.Org
Contrary to the rational and practical, the desires of paraphilic infantilism and diaper fetishism commonly focus on a specific diaper type. This is a particularly opportune time to study the factors influencing these desires, because of the diversity of diaper types. In living memory, the most prevalent diaper type has progressed from cloth diapers worn under rubber pants (-1940s), to cloth under plastic pants (1940s-1960s), to hourglass-shaped disposables with a basic plastic backsheet (1970s-1990s), and finally to disposables with a "cloth-like" plastic backsheet (1990s-).
Survey data was used to compare AB/DLs by they type they wore as babies, the type they now prefer, birth year, sex, familial stability, and continence. Contrasting the average birth years of AB/DLs who reported being raised in a certain type with those who reported preferring a certain type in fantasy showed a shift of roughly five years. This trend suggests that a primary factor in determining an AB/DL's fantasy diaper is the type that was most prevalent during his or her childhood, not necessarily the type he or she wore as a baby. Since the most prevalent diaper type has only changed a few times, the two are often the same.
The majority of people, AB/DLs and non-AB/DLs alike, have no memories of their own infancy. In the survey data, the disposability of diapers appears to affect the ability to remember what type they were raised in. Diapers that were kept around the house apparently served as clues to use while trying to reconstruct one's own infancy.
The author's previous studies have shown an upper limit on the ages at which paraphilic infantilism or diaper fetishism are likely to develop. An interest could be cultivated after this age, but a spontaneous, compulsive paraphilia wouldn't be expected to form. These new results suggest that these desires are often influenced by a childhood reconstruction of his or her own, forgotten infancy; or other secondhand influences, such as the infancy of others or experimentation with found diapers.
In contrast to the preferences of parents or incontinent diaper users, which might be set by practical considerations, AB/DLS might desire one type of diaper over another for reasons that are more difficult to explain. Many AB/DLs have noticed that those preferring cloth diapers and those preferring disposable are usually separated by birth year.
This is a particularly opportune time to study the factors affecting this preference, because of the diversity of diaper types. In the living memory of AB/DLs, the absorbent material has gone from cotton to a superabsorbent polymer (SAP). The classical safety pin was replaced with adhesive tapes, and then with Velcro.
The shell, the most visible part of the diaper, was expected to be the easiest to survey. In the days of cloth, the diaper might be used without a waterproof cover. However, a separate, waterproof pant was often used. Initially, these pants were made using rubber or rubberized cloth. Later plastic with rubber or elastic hems was used. The bare cloth diaper remained iconic.
With the disposable diaper, the shell became integrated with the absorbent material. Disposable diapers were available before Proctor and Gamble chose to enter the market, but didn't have much of an impact. Test-marketing for Pampers®started in 1961, with a national rollout in 1966[1][2]. They initially were rectangular and used the wingfold[DEF], previously used with cloth diapers. They included a simple plastic backsheet. However, the rectangular disposables never gained dominance.
In 1976, Luvs marketed an hourglass-shaped disposable[2]. The hourglass shape followed the structure of the waterproof pants, as opposed to that of the cloth diaper. This required elastic in the hems and so was more difficult to manufacture. Other brands soon adopted this shape. By 1976, 50% of U.S. diaper changes were dispsable, growing to 80% in 1982 and 95% in 1999 [1].
In 1994, a "cloth-like" backsheet was added to Huggies. In attempting to look like a bare cloth diaper, "cloth-like" backsheets brought the development of the shell superficially full-circle. Alternatively, the "cloth-like" backsheet might have been intended to seem less disposable-diaper-like: In 1994, Kimberly Clark also introduced Goodnites® [2].
These last two types will be respectively be called 'hourglass-shaped' disposables and 'cloth-like' disposables for the remainder of this study, for brevity. The "cloth-like" diapers are still relatively hourglass-shaped.
This history is of interest because it permits the study of how the diaper types used on AB/DLs as babies affected the diaper types that they fantasize about later in life. Understanding why a particular type of diaper is the focus of desires might offer some insight into why diapers are central, and indirectly, into paraphilic infantilism or diaper fetishism.
It is generally believed within the community that most AB/DLs prefer the type of diaper that they used as a baby. This is interesting, since, according to a previous survey, the majority of AB/DLs have no memories from age zero to three[3]. In this, AB/DLs might not differ from those in the general population, whose earliest memories were at a mode age of three to four years of age[4]. This infantile amnesia (also called childhood amnesia) would separate most child AB/DLs from their infancy and diaper use. As a result, the majority of AB/DLs wouldn't remember what type of diaper they wore as a baby. The AB/DL might know which type he or she wore from pictures or diapers still around the house, but wouldn't remember actually wearing them.
To provide a deeper and more detailed understanding the type preferences among AB/DLs and of the AB/DL community in general, the author composed a sixty-four question survey.
This survey included questions about specific to types of diaper, the importance of diaper type, and other factors. To maximize the independence of the questions about the diaper type that the AB/DL wore as a baby and the diaper type he or she would prefer in fantasy, the questions were in different sections.
There are many different ways in which a diaper could be categorized, including closure (pin, tapes, Velcro, pulled-up, convertible, etc.), inner texture (birdseye, flannel, terry, gauze, nonwoven plastic, Attends® micropore[DEF], etc.), backsheet, etc. The backsheet was selected because it would be the most visible. The contrast also required reducing all possible combinations onto a single axis. This is why there weren't additional options, for example, for plastic pants worn over disposables. Finally, the desired contrast was with diapers from babyhood, so training pants and bedwetting undergarments weren't included. These might be covered in later surveys.
The question about diaper type worn as a baby included options for AB/DLs who didn't know what type they were raised in, as well as non-diaper options, such as elimination communication. Similarly, the question about the fantasy diaper type included an option for those who desired a diaper but weren't particular about the type, and options for those whose fantasies didn't involve diapers. An essay question, on the surveyee's fantasy diaper and what influenced it, was also asked.
The survey responses were filtered to remove duplicates. Some responses were partial. These were included in the analysis if the questions being analyzed were complete.
The results included here will be for AB/DLs only: While it would be interesting to contrast AB/DLs and non-AB/DLs, few non-AB/DLs completed the survey. Also, to avoid assumptions about the various masculine and feminine influences on transgendered AB/DLs, the results contrasting men and women won't include transgendered AB/DLs.
Figure #1 shows the diaper type that AB/DLs reported wearing as babies, as a percentage of five-year groups by birth year. The diaper types are arranged roughly chronologically, proceeding from early types near bottom, to the most recent type second from the top. The top section, without color, represents the percentage of AB/DLs who didn't know what type they wore as babies.
As expected, there is a sequential dominance. AB/DLs born in the '40s experienced the decline of rubber pants in favor of plastic pants. The dominance of plastic pants continues until the rise of the disposables. The rectangular disposables, while leading the transition, never actually gain dominance. The hourglass-shaped disposables became dominant instead.
The transitions line up with expectations based on the U.S. market, with a few exceptions. For example, some AB/DLs who reported wearing "cloth-like" diapers were older than expected. Those in the 1985-1989 birthyear group would have been between five and nine years of age when "cloth-like" diapers were introduced. Three surveyees from older groups also reported wearing them, with oldest being seventeen at introduction. This might be due to the use of "cloth-like" backsheets for bedwetting and training pants, such as Goodnites®.
Some variation from the U.S. marketplace was expected, since the survey didn't restrict its sample to AB/DLs raised in the U.S. One European type not included in the U.S. progression included a disposable, rectangular pad and a somewhat reusable plastic cover. This separate cover was hourglass-shaped with extended tabs. "Those were the ones that were around when I grew up in the 1970's. They are rectangular, white, 'cloth-like' with no plastic backing. Although later came some variants that had plastic backing. They are held in place by specially designed thin sheets of plastic that are tied at your hips in order to keep the diaper in place." This man, born in 1968, reported being raised in rectangular disposables. However, the multiple-choice categories were ambiguous for that type.
Along with the rise in disposables came a rise in those who didn't remember what kind of diaper they were raised in. This might be due to the tenancy to repurpose cloth diapers as rags, keeping them in the household. In contrast, the disposables might typically be used up or given away. Diapers kept around the house could serve as reminders or clues.
Only one surveyee reported not having been raised in diapers. The male, born in 1955, couldn't be reached for confirmation. He reported fantasizing about hourglass-shaped disposables.
Overall, 19% of AB/DLs considered the diaper type critical, and an additional 54% had a preferred diaper type. These percentages differ from those seen in the first survey in the series, "ABs, DLs, Etc." The first survey included only one option for those with a preferred diaper type, while the second survey offered two. 1% of AB/DLs reported a lack of interest in diapers, and an additional 2% reported an aversion to them.
The diaper type that an AB/DL would prefer if it were not for practical constraints, the fantasy diaper, is plotted by birth year in Figure #2. For clarity, groups of five years are shown. This plot included only AB/DLs with a specific, preferred fantasy diaper type. Similar to Figure #1, the plot shows a sequential dominance. However, it is shifted temporally. Figure #2 doesn't include most of the decline of rubber pants, included in Figure #1. Figure #2 might also show the start of "cloth-like" disposables' rise to dominance.
Many surveyees expressed the view that the fantasy diaper type was determined by the type worn as a baby. When asked what influenced their selection of fantasy diaper, many responded along the lines of "it was the kind of diaper I was raised in."
Some reported remembering wearing diapers. "I can remember back to when I was 2 years old, and I wore the Pampers® from the 1980s." Another wrote "I still remember being in diapers and they were disposables that made very loud crinkling noises whenever I moved, so that sound is very closely associated in my mind with being a baby. More modern diapers just don't feel 'right' without the crinkling." Others might have extrapolated based on what they wore for bedwetting. "...a terry nappy covered with frosted white plastic pants. It's what I remember wearing when I was a baby (and bedwetter)..."
A few conceded that they couldn't consciously remember wearing diapers. "My selection was most likely influenced from being diapered in the exact same type of diaper when I was a baby. Although I have no specific memory of being diapered as a baby, throughout childhood I was aware that these types of disposables [hourglass-shaped] were the most common, and had also seen them used on my younger brother." Another man reported that his preferences were set by "probably a subconscious memory of what I wore as a baby."
For clarity, two responses were not plotted. They selected one of the non-diaper options for the multiple choice question but described diapers in the following fill-in question.
Anecdotally, it might be interesting to note that bare cloth apparently benefited only slightly from cartoons, if at all. One man, born in 1990, wrote that "there was this old Donald Duck cartoon [Modern Inventions, 1937] where the duck jumped into an automated baby-minder carriage and was trapped and diapered, and prevented from keeping them off... the cartoon really stuck with me." He reported having been raised in rectangular disposables, but preferred cloth with plastic pants. The cartoon showed a bare cloth diaper, folded triangularly and held in place with a single safety pin in the front. This is the typical diaper shown in cartoons, even if the dialogue was about disposables (e.g. [5]).
Another cartoon, "Rugrats," is notable in that the characters clearly wore hourglass-shaped disposables, then in common use. "What influenced my fantasy diaper most was the design of the diapers that were worn by the characters in the old show Rugrats" wrote one man, born in 1994. He was raised in and preferred hourglass-shaped disposables.
Qualitatively, the features on Figure #2 seem to lead those of Figure #1. This is consistent with what would be expected if the diaper preference was set some time after infancy, to the diaper type that was most prevalent at the time. The average birth years can be used to compare the figures quantitatively. For this calculation, only those AB/DLs who reported having been raised in a known type, and having a preference for a specific type were considered.
Those who reported preferring cloth diapers with plastic pants were born in 1960 on average. Those who report having been raised in cloth and plastic pants were born in 1964 on average. The preference leads the use by roughly five years (4.54 years with a standard error of 1.4 years, p<.001). Similarly, those who reported preferring hourglass-shaped disposables had an average birth year of 1979, while those who reported wearing them as babies had an average birth year of 1985. Again, there is a lead of roughly five years (5.21 with a standard error of 0.6, p<.001).
Since bare cloth and rectangular disposables didn't have a period of dominance, either in use or preference, their birth year differences aren't meaningful. Only 9% of those who reported having been raised in bare cloth reported a preference for them. Of those who reported having been raised in rectangular disposables, 67% reported a preference for hourglass-shaped disposables and only 20% reported a preference for rectangular disposables. This suggests that the most prevalent diaper during one's childhood is more influential to his or her tastes than what he or she wore as a baby. The lead would then be due to the average age at which this influence occurred, or the ages around which the influences were distributed. This average age would be five year contrast plus the one to three years spent in diapers, or roughly six to eight.
The birth year lead for rubber pants is negative, but not meaningful in itself. Both the 'worn' and the 'preferred' birth year averages come from the same sample of AB/DLs, so numerically if some types have a positive lead, other types must have a negative lead. If preference was determined at some age over five, then the birth years when cloth with rubber pants was the dominant type desired would have been some time before 1940. Few born before 1940 completed the survey, giving more weight to younger AB/DLs into rubber.
That rubber fetishists are included in the AB/DL community, alongside paraphilic infantilism and diaper fetishism, is not a surprise. AB/DLs with a fetish for an object associated with infancy were disproportionately more likely to prefer rubber pants (8% vs 4%, p=0.003). Similarly, those who developed an interest in diapers and/or babyhood after an interest in more conventional forms of masochism were also more likely to prefer rubber pants. (11% vs 4%, p=0.009 compared to those whose interest in diapers and/or babyhood developed first, only, or at the same time.)
Similar to rubber pants, the dominance of "cloth-like" disposables isn't covered by the data. The current four year lead might not be meaningful (1988 worn, 1984 preferred, p=.05).
Comparing birth years for the type worn as a baby to the type preferred as an AB/DL suggests a specific trend: AB/DLs tended to prefer the type of diaper in common use when they were children, not necessarily what they wore as babies. The five year difference is relative, so the average age range would be five years after babyhood. This would be an average value, since the secondhand influences would occur at varying ages. The prevalent type of diaper during one's childhood will influence what siblings and neighbor's babies are wearing, what is in the stores, what is being advertised, etc.
This later diaper type would also affect early experimentation with diapers. One man who reported having been raised in cloth diapers and plastic pants wrote of when he was eleven or twelve: "The best diaper I remember wearing was a pink Pampers® Phases, back when they were gender specific. I'm not clear on the size. I'm sure it was the largest they had at the time. I think it was '94 or '95 when this happened. My mom worked for the church nursery and there was a room that sat unsupervised that had laundry baskets full of diapers left by parents, and kept in case of emergency. I in all of my stealth grabbed a few of these. I immediately went to the bathroom to put one on." He reported a preference for hourglass-shaped disposables.
The percentage of AB/DLs who report having the same fantasy type as the type they used in infancy is plotted in Figure # 3. The lower curve is the percentage of AB/DLs who had the same type. The upper curve includes those who were raised in and preferred any of the three cloth types, or were raised in and preferred any of the three disposable types.
The two peaks correspond roughly with the dominant periods for plastic pants and hourglass-shaped disposables. The central valley corresponds roughly with the transition from cloth and plastic pants, through rectangular disposables, to hourglass-shaped disposables. The declines at either end of the curve might be due to the rubber to plastic transition, and the hourglass-shaped disposable to the "cloth-like" disposable transition. Since the cloth vs. disposable curve also declines at the ends, this is uncertain. Except for these transitions, the type an AB/DL wore as a baby, the type he or she saw on TV, the type the neighbors' younger children were wearing, etc., would often be the same.
Figure #4 plots two values for AB/DLs as a whole and for three special cases; AB/DLs who are incontinent, were adopted or were placed in foster care, and are non-transsexual females. The first value is the percentage that reported that the diaper type was critical to their enjoyment, and the second is the percentage that reported matching types for use and preference.
AB/DLs who reported being incontinent were more likely than other AB/DLs to report that the type of diaper was critical (25% vs 18%, p=.02). They were insignificantly less likely to prefer the diaper type that they were raised in (55% vs 57%, p=0.3). Given the different role that diapers play among those who need them, this isn't surprising. However, it is notable that diaper use in adulthood didn't have a strong influence on the desires of these AB/DLs.
AB/DLs who reported having been adopted or placed in foster care were not significantly different from other AB/DLs when it came to type criticality (20% vs 18%, p = 0.4). However, they were less likely to report matching types (46% vs 58%, p = 0.03). They weren't significantly more likely to report not knowing what type of diaper they were raised in (17% vs 18%, p=0.4). One explanation for the contrast in type matching is that most AB/DLs, having forgotten their own infancy, idealize around a reconstruction of their own babyhood and what they see of other babies: Those who have been adopted or placed in foster care might tend to see another's babyhood as more ideal than their own. This idealized image then would influence the paraphilia as it forms. Formed around an idealization of someone else's babyhood, they would more likely focus on the diaper type someone else wore. Another explanation is that the influence is actually that of experimentation with diapers found around the house during childhood. Those who were adopted or placed in a foster home would have spent their childhood in a different house, increasing the probability of finding a different type of diaper.
Women AB/DLs were not significantly different than male AB/DLs in terms of type criticality or type match (criticality, 15% vs 18%, p = 0.2; match, 53% vs 57%, p=0.2). The results for female AB/DLs confound mental, physical, and cultural factors. The lack of a significant effect suggests that these factors either don't affect type criticality and match, or cancel each other out. AB/DL women were more likely than men to report not remembering the type of diaper they used as infants (29% vs 16%, p=0.007). Those who reported not remembering what type of diaper they were raised in were excluded from the statistics on matching.
One physical difference that might be of particular relevance to the diaper is the genitalia. A post-operative transsexual, born male in 1975, wrote that "post-transition, diapers are much less sexually gratifying--due to the mechanics of clitoral stimulation." Atypically, she reported having been raised in hourglass-shaped disposables, but preferring cloth in fantasy. "I think that I developed an appreciation for cloth diapers due to my younger siblings using them." However, AB/DLs are diverse. Another woman wrote that "diapers with plastic on the outside can be very erotic when rubbed on the body in various ways (i.e. when slippery with oil or lube). I prefer this type for play because it is more versatile and is less likely to leak on a bed (will hold more liquid)."
In terms of diaper type, women were disproportionately more likely to report a preference for "cloth-like" disposables (16% vs 6%, p<0.001). These, and some of the later hourglass-shaped disposables, had babyish prints on them. "I wear pull-ups with Disney princesses" reported one woman. Another simply described her fantasy diaper as "pink with girly designs." The trend might be towards looking babyish, as opposed to wearing a diaper that is 'diaper-like.'
The trend for women AB/DLs who develop their interests later in life to emphasize babyhood and control, while de-emphasizing diapers has already been noted by the author[6]. Since this only affected the minority with a late onset, the effect on the average for female AB/DLs as a whole wouldn't be large. This is consistent with the new data.
The contrasts present in these special cases are consistent with desires that generally take shape in early childhood through the teens, based on an idealized reconstruction of infancy. The diaper would then be the most tangible expression of this ideal. This idealized infancy might be based on one's own or another's infancy. Given the many ways in which sex and gender affect the AB/DL experience, the weak influence of the type of diapers one's genitalia contacted as a baby is notable. Additionally, diapers worn later in life also have a limited influence on the desires of AB/DLs. The specificity of diaper type serves as a filter to separate the many ways in which these factors impact the lives of AB/DLs from their influence on the formation of an AB/DLs desires.
In the search for a better understanding of why some desire to wear diapers, it is helpful to consider what kind of diapers they desire. While the type of diaper that an AB/DL desires to wear is often the type that he or she wore as a baby, the data shows that this is largely coincidental. Contrasting the ages of AB/DLs who report having been raised in certain types of diapers with those who report desiring to wear those types of diapers shows a lead of roughly five years. The trend was for an AB/DL to desire the type of diaper that AB/DLs roughly five years younger would report having been raised in. The two types are often the same, since recent history tends to have one dominant diaper type, and this dominant diaper type rarely changes. For birth years close to such a change, the probability of preferring the type worn as a baby drops.
The dominant type has progressed from cloth diapers with rubber pants, to cloth with plastic pants, to hourglass-shaped disposables with a simple plastic backing, to disposables with a cloth-like plastic backing. Two other types included in the survey, cloth used without a waterproof cover and rectangular disposables, did not achieve dominance. Most who were raised in one of these two types reported a preference for another type.These observations provide some insight into the limited role that one's own babyhood and infantile experience with diapers has in the development of paraphilic infantilism or diaper fetishism. For most AB/DLs, their desires towards babyhood are influenced by an idealized reconstruction of infancy, and not necessarily their own. The data couldn't isolate the effect of childhood experimentation with diapers, but it suggests that exposure to diapers as infants or as adults has a limited influence at most over the preferred type of diaper. This suggests that the desires for diapers and/or babyhood generally take their adult form some time after most AB/DLs are out of diapers and have forgotten their own babyhood, but before they are adults themselves.
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