Understanding Infantilism (.org)

Survey - AB/DL Odds and Ends - Ways to Help

24)What could be done to help make growing up easier for today's young AB/DLs? (optional)

The AB/DLs growing up today will face different challenges than previous generations. Question #24 hoped to gather thoughts on how they could be helped.

Some of the responses below were written to young AB/DLs. Others were written to the communities and cultures. They are grouped by apparent topic, and this might imply an audience that was not intended by the surveyee.

In addition to the cultural transitions, many jurisdictions impose a form of statutory isolation on young AB/DLs. At the start of data collection for this survey, ADISC.org had active forums where teens could connect with other teens. By the end of data collection, it had understandably transitioned to excluding all teens from all forums. As a result, the responses below both praise ADISC.org for being inclusive, and criticize it for being exclusive.

Another website which was mentioned in multiple responses is Understanding.Infantilism.Org. Making the lives of all AB/DLs easier is one of the website's main goals. However, it was also the website hosting the survey, so a bias might be expected.

The presentation below is a non-scientific subsample. Some responses with multiple points were divided so that the points could be grouped by topic. Some texts trimmed for focus. Vague or largely overlapping answers were omitted. Any references to illegal or medically unsafe practices were also omitted.

• Acceptance
• Community
• Counselors and other professionals
• Diapers, Etc.
• Nothing/I Don't Know
• Research
• Sex Ed
• Getting Better
• Information
• The Internet
• Moderation
• Not Alone
• Parents
• Self-
• Teens
• Understanding
• Publicity
• :)...?
• Miscellaneous

Acceptance

• Acceptance by peers, parents, community
• For society to accept AB/DL people like Japan does.
• The only way for things to be easier is if people stop looking at AB/DL as a "sick" thing.
• For society to be more open and accepting to people's differences. No matter what they are.
• Less pressure to hide "weak" emotions
• Acceptance of DL/TB
• I think that if people knew about and accepted them, that would be most beneficial.
• Just be open and supportive
• Make it a publicly "accepted" sexual orientation that people, and specifically adults, are educated about.
• You like what you like and are still OK.
• A world where sexuality is not so suppressed.
• ...Greater acceptance by psychologists/psychiatrists.
• Being accepted
• [A] fetish is a private thing. As long as no one else is being hurt or forced to do something against there will it should be accepted.
• Normalizing and lessening the taboo of infantilism, especially in the BDSM community. Infantilism and diaper fetishism are more common than reported on, and that knowledge would make people feel much better about their fetishes.
• A general attitude of acceptance. Which is to say, if I could have been confident that I would have been loved and accepted regardless of my diaper stuff it might have gone a long way towards my opinion of myself as a teenager/young adult.
• Finding methods of social acceptance or understanding would be crucial. I have only let a very close friend in on my fetish, and I am certain my parents wouldn't understand or accept my choices, especially my father but I suppose my mother would be a little more understanding.
• Less taboos and stigmas associated with these kinds of things (fetishes / lifestyles / coping mechanisms)
• More acceptance within society. Even after realizing I wasn't alone, knowing how much my partner hates my kink just kills me.
• Acceptance! No one should have to hide who they are.
• Just reinforcing the notion that there's nothing to feel guilty or ashamed about.
• Let the matter be more accepted.
• Letting them know its OK to be who you are
• Making bed wetting acceptable.
• Acceptance and knowledge. Both the young AB/DL and his/her parent figure should accept this as a fact that will not go away and should try to learn has much has they can from it.
• Acceptance. Acceptance is the difference between diapers being a phase or an obsession in my opinion. I never wanted to be potty trained, and I wasn't till I was just short of 5. I think diapers, at that point, turned into a forbidden fruit for me and I always tried to wear them when possible.
• Allow them to be open and accepted as a normal occurrence. It is no worse than many of the known fetishes openly practiced by many.
• Social acceptance but that'll never happen
• Acceptance of the AB lifestyle
• Understanding and acceptance. It wasn't so long ago that homosexuals were not accepted, but people have learned to accept. I want the same courtesy.
• General acceptance and tolerance
• Make it illegal to mock the wearing of nappies. I suffered an injury that meant I became incontinent at 6, school was no fun, believe me.
• There should be more acceptance of fetishism in general. It's difficult enough to be homosexual or bisexual, but to have other forms of sexual uniqueness is hard too, especially because it's so little known and so often regarded as just weird or creepy. There should be more movies, TV shows, and books that feature characters with lifestyle fetishes. There should be articles written about fetishism in health and psychology magazines, and fetishes should be mentioned in sex ed. classes as a normal thing that some people experience, as well as a list of resources for those who think they may have a sexual fetish.
• Accept that 90% of people have a fetish, not just ABDLs. Everyone's different. There's no such thing as a normal person.
• Acceptance that it doesn't hurt anyone and is not related to incest/ rape
• Awareness and acceptance.
• Better acceptance of their desires by others.
• More open acceptance of their wants and needs
• Understanding and acceptance. I wanted to commit suicide due to not fitting in to social norms. I had no one to help me (safely).
• People not being such juvenile jerks. I mean seriously, as adults it's still a taboo thing for people to wear adult diapers or pull-ups. Which to me, seems like when kids are in elementary school, someone gets de-pants-ed, and all the kids laugh. As adults, with maturity, you'd figure things like that wouldn't be laughed at, but rather some measure of understanding and sympathy would be the appropriate. But I know from personal life, Internet activity, and TV Shows, it's still seen as socially taboo. Just because someone is wearing diapers, doesn't mean they're altogether different, other than what they wear underneath their clothes. If someone flaunts it, they're asking for ridicule, as anyone exposing their G-String, would garner similar attention. Understanding and maturity will never be achieved, as society is still too shallow and sheep-like, to look upon being an ABDL as unique and harmless. There are much worse fetishes and kinks out there. And to be afraid essentially, is silly.

Community

• A 'library' of advice and a place for them to come out and meet each other, with no stigma at all.
• Be yourself and reach out to others in the community
• A stronger community that is actually open to and friendly to young ABDLs. Many of the forums and communities available are 18+ or unkind to younger ABDLs.
• Begin to listen to the older ABs and DLs. We do know what we are talking about and [are] always willing to share with the younger ones. They tend to be in a world of their own and will not befriend us.
• I think that having a community and getting to experience what we want is really important. When I found there were other ABDLs I was dating a non-ABDL, I wanted acceptance and to get some time being indulged as a little, eventually I had to leave that relationship. As I explored what I wanted changed and I became more aware of the practicality of what I wanted. I think that getting to explore our desires is really important and gives us better perspectives of who we are, what we want and how much ABDL we want in our lives vs. being all alone and bitter and thinking that if only I had ABDL I would be happy when there is so much more to being happy than that.
• Being able to interact with others in real life instead of just online.
• LESS access to information and "gratification" (being able to fulfill one's diaper desires), like us older folks had to endure. The utter lack of patience, observance of "protocol" (at AB/DL site chat rooms) and consideration for other people that could be learned from is troubling, and adversely affects the AB/DL community at-large, until they slow down, learn something, chill out and smoothly integrate into the community.
• Finding community. I wasn't young when I found it, but it turned my life around in a much better way.
• Safe spaces and awareness, same as for any similar group.
• I think it is better than when I was young. Much better. We now have groups and friends.
• AB/DL summer camp..Maybe.. Local groups could be huge in making it easier on today's young AB/DLs (including me).
• Fight the stigma against AB/DLs. Try to make it as accepted as other kinks have become, like bondage. One small way to do this is to keep an eye on forums in which people ask advice. Make sure AB/DLs asking advice (whatever their age) know that they're normal. Make sure people who ask "My boyfriend/girlfriend is a freak! What should I do?" hear that they have to treat their significant others' interests with respect (which doesn't mean they have to violate their own limits).
• More information and places to go to get information and/or hangout with others to experiment and try different things within the community. These locations would be neutral ground, having no bias towards either AB or DL or furs of either nature.
• I think there are many misunderstanding about the life that AB's live, as well as their feelings, and emotions. I think if young AB's are guided and helped and supported, it would be of great help to them.
• Getting them connected with other local ABDL's.

Counselors and other professionals

• Counseling to help them with their feelings.
• Counseling. I grew up not knowing why I had these desires, and still don't, but I knew it was not normal and I struggle to find out why. Growing up it would have made a huge difference if there was someone such as a psychologist or psychiatrist that could've explained more about what I was feeling.
• I think having more counselors, psychologists, or therapists who are familiar with the Age play (ABDL) lifestyle and can help those and families understand it.
• Early mental health intervention.
• Parents should not try to "cure" such children by dragging them to therapists who advocate aversion therapy. Being an AB or DL *is* their sexuality, and is no more curable than, say, being gay, lesbian or asexual.
• I hear that some had encountered psychology professionals that did more harm than good. It would be good to make sure that when anxious parents consult a professional, they got feedback that their kid isn't "broken".
• There should be more studies and psychologists should receive additional training on this concept so as to be able to communicate more effectively with young people with this fetish.
• In my experience, acceptance and TLC from close friends or family does much more good than discussion with 'therapists'. With cases/personalities similar to mine, a safe environment to work out raw emotions without pointed discussion but with interpersonal contact (ex: being gently held, rocked, reassured) is ideal, and essential for instilling a belief that the AB individual is indeed wanted, cared about, and loved. In short, a trusted personal 'caregiver' figure is especially important to the emotionally self-flagellation type. I cannot speak for other types.
• Probably some way for young ABDLs to talk to non-judgmental adult professionals.
• It could be therapeutic to practice it with a professional but no sexual intercourse should take place during sessions unless both parties are of legal age of consent.

Diapers, Etc.

• Make bigger pacifiers easier to get a hold of, LOL.
• To have a selection of diapers that fit different sizes and ages, not just small babies or older adults but something in between maybe with childlike print on them.
• Acceptance for the need of diapers for ALL children, and to have very babyish style diapers for ALL aged babies and diaper wearers.
• Accessibility of diapers
• Better access to plastic diapers.
• Information about sizing and what liquid each diaper will hold would be good.
• The stigma of adult diapers removed and public awareness increased.
• Get the cool diapers covered by medical insurance. The best ones I have used [are] the ones from AB-Universe. All the other ones are crappy and don't hold up, and leak and soak, and make a big mess everywhere.

Nothing/I Don't Know

• I don't know.
• Why should anything be done for them? It's a fetish, not a condition.
• I wish I knew... If only we could rely on people to be accepting and understanding...
• Nothing can make growing up easier (as taken in general). Every case is different.

Research

• Better awareness in the psychology field.
• More studies and awareness.
• Any attempts to explain the causes and onset would help to reduce the anxiety associated with the desires. Therapists know little about infantilism probably because few people choose to try for the cure, and even fewer succeed. I have been trying for fifty years to escape the feelings.
• Put more study into the phenomena so the psychiatrists know what they're doing.
• More available and *reliable* medical literature on the subject of infantilism/diaper fetishes, that's non-judgmental and does *not* imply (or state outright) that they're pedophiles, or "sick" in some unspecified way.
• A more accepting society without people constantly probing into "why" people are AB/DL's (hint hint godamnit) and less media coverage that paints us in a bad light always.

Sex Ed

• A better 'sex ed' lesson that explores sexual development on several different topics, not just 'how to use a condom'
• A very important thing is the sexual education itself, because in many countries (as far as I know) including Russia there is a huge problem to get a proper understanding/vision in the prepuberty/puberty periods - the time children need it most.
• School education about alternative sexualities
• ...Education that they are not strange or weird because they may be different.
• Education about the condition. But doing it in a way that would not put them at risk for judgment would be difficult.
• I believe that I could write a book on what could be done to help make young ABDL's life's easier, but the main thing I would change is have ABDL fetish taught to society so that it might be better understood and accepted. It could become like a clique at school similar to the goth group, or the cheerleaders. There would then be a ABDL group.
• Broader sex education I think could help. If society was more educated about sex and sexuality, that would have to include fetishes. It would then follow that people would understand that lots of things interest people and that its OK to be different.
• Education! Get the word out that there is nothing harmful in this, unless one makes it so.

Getting Better

• Go with Dan Savage, "It gets better".
• Not much, really. Give it ten years though.
• More understanding, information and education. We are probably the first generation to grow with an education based in love, ethics and acceptance. We are growing more tolerant with homosexuality, with "race" (if we can call skin color "race"), with religion. My parents, though, grew during the dictatorship. Those were hard days, people learned racism, learned intolerance from several sources. Now that those days are over, education is being reshaped. Intolerance is slowly fading away, people are being more open about their "quirks" and information is spreading widely at an incredible speed. It will be easier for everyone to grow up if they can be accepted in their harmless difference and education and information play an important role in this.
• Given the rapid state of social decay, I would say that today's young will have it much harder than I did. I doubt anything beyond trying to raise my children to have self-confidence & to ignore social acceptance in favor of personal happiness, I don't know what else can be done!

Information

• Have more resources available to young people so they can understand what ABDL is and as a basis for explaining it to others if necessary. I found Understanding Infantilism very helpful but there was limited information about ABDLs elsewhere.
• Information, information and more information is a start to becoming more aware of the scope of the behavior, I doubt anything can actually make growing up "easier" for a young AB/DL short of a change in cultural/religious norms.
• Information seems to help more than anything in terms of acceptance. That seems to be improving now that Internet is more prevalent. Otherwise I'm not sure.
• Readily-available information. Support from others. Trying to paint a more accurate portrait of the community, without forcing it upon people.
• Destroying the stereotypes that "only creeps or really old people wear diapers as adults" and "it must be a sexual perversion, therefore the people practicing it will rape your children". Yes, I've actually seen and heard both of these.
• Disseminate good information about how to accept oneself, even with diapers as a need/desire, and how to integrate diapers into relationships & marriage successfully, with balance.
• More general information about fetishes.
• Education for parents and friends, more books about the subject, a better media image of ABDLs
• Just more information out there explaining to them that this is one of their many differences and they shouldn't think less or themselves for it. Something more informative then erotically driven sites.
• It would make it easier if people knew it was relatively harmless.
• Keep good, accurate information available. Much like what you have done over the years. I personally found much of the information you provided very insightful and it helped me validate my ease in knowing what I liked and it was "OK". I think there is a lot more accessible information today than there was 20+ years ago.
• The more information the better.
• Education of others.
• Letting them know that they are not freaks, the are just different.
• More information that this is not a deviant thing, [but] that it is a natural [to want] more nurturing and loving.
• Providing them as much information as possible, and letting them know that that are not the only ones and that there's nothing to be ashamed of.

The Internet

• Given [that] I didn't have the Internet growing up, that alone was a huge improvement. Not sure what else would be needed for young AB/DLs now.
• I think one of the main tools is already in place, the Internet. It provides a means of discovering that you ARE NOT alone in your feelings. Another tool would be more communication with your parents about your feelings.
• I think things are a lot easier today - the Internet is a very powerful tool for creating communities and meeting people.
• I suspect the Internet has already made it much easier and will continue to do so. What's needed is information, and sane role models.
• Good information available online (which may already be be the case).
• Nothing much needs to be done. There is a wealth of Internet resources that can be tapped into.
• Cannot compare because in my youth we did not have Internet. Back in the 80's I would have wanted to be able to contact other infantilists. Today this IS possible.
• The Internet is a good start
• Information such as this website and experienceproject.com on the Internet
• I think they are in a better position in today's society than I was due to them having the Internet
• With the information available on the Internet today, I can't think of any other ways to really assist young AB/DLs.
• Access to sites like this.
• I believe that today's young AB/DL's already have it easier due in large part to the Internet.
• Your websites are probably the single best thing imaginable... kudos.
• I think lots has been done via the Internet where a lot of information and communities exist. I hope that people's attitudes towards those with a kink will relax to the point where young people will be able to explore their desires without the risk of exposure or rejection.
• Put a good supply of 'pro's and Con's' out on the web to allow someone to see what lies in store for them as they get older.
• More educationally focused websites. This way if a curious youth types something like "teens in diapers," they'd get worthwhile results instead of just creepo pervesites.
• I think the plethora of information on the Internet already makes it much easier growing up AB/DL then it used to be.
• Another important thing is creating a centralized web-archive like FAQ about AB/DL directing all the newcomers to the answers they are looking to. (Sorry, BitterGrey - your site is OK, moreover it is one of the biggest sources of scientific and practically useful information, but it is not such an easy thing to find/read when you are just googling something related to your related fetish first time. I mean there is http://wkld.diaperchat.com/ - which is #1 result for "I love Diapers" but it still sucks in design and also not as easy to read.) The idea is to make a unique static (meaning there would be nothing to update) non-wiki FAQ for parents/children adults/couples and just anybody who wants to learn what TB/AB/DL is. Such site should be
  1. Very easy to find when you even still don't know what ABDL is.
  2. Designed for fast learning nothing more. No comments/surveys/tags/forum/feedback/maybe even no search, but it must contain all possible answers touching every topic, gathering a single database, religion (by the way - thanks for your posts about it), sex, pros/cons, psychology, deviations, family problems... etc...
  3. Optionally but likely will have the links to the key related sites (understanding.infantilism, forums like ADISC.org - very helpful, maybe 2-3 web-communities like diaperworld, wiki-links, and very advisable - some psychological books). I hope a site like this can help many of people like us dodge the mistakes many of AB/TB/DL/parents make.

Moderation

• Hard question! Until society is ready to let 'Health Class' touch on all the unusual but harmless things people are into it will probably be rough sailing. An "It Gets Better" approach with reminders not to let this sort of niche interest (or "sex" generally, if it's sexual) overtake one's whole academic/professional/other life - even if it seems Really Important at the time - coupled with professional understanding for those dragged to a professional about it - seems like the way to go.
• Don't be ashamed of something that makes you happy. That doesn't mean it's OK to walk down the street in only a diaper as an adult.
• They need to understand that each AB/DL is different and there is no mold. We are all different and have different needs and desires. They also need to keep in mind that our interactions directly affect our loved ones. Many AB/DL's are very selfish and do not think of how their actions can affect their loved ones.
• Provide them with some suggestions from experience that allow them to accept who they are and engage it appropriately, without embarrassing or hurting themselves or others.

Not Alone

• Let them know that they're not alone, and that they're not freaks.
• A safe place for them to realize that they are not alone.
• Making sure they know they're not alone and not crazy.
• Talk about it openly. Show acceptance and tolerance, but mostly give them the feeling that they are not alone and that they have somebody they can talk to. Also inform them about potential dangers if necessary.
• Validate their feelings. Let them know others feel that way. Teach that it's not a big deal and not something to spend time on.
• Knowing that there are others is comforting, but it only helps so much. I feel that this "thing" we have is so odd and so different that we are all sort of on our own to varying degrees. It's hard not to feel weird; like an outcast because of this.
• YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Likewise, YOU ARE OKAY. Also, WE STILL LOVE YOU.
• I believe that it is important for a young AB/DL today to be aware of the fact that he/she is not alone and that there is an open, accepting community of people with similar feelings and attitudes toward the lifestyle.
• Generally let them know they're not alone, and help them come to understanding and acceptance of being an AB/DL.
• Making sure they know they are not alone and giving them some basic tips for understanding and dealing with their thoughts, needs, and fears.
• More readily available information to let them know they're not alone.
• I think better outreach to the younger people could really help facilitate a healthier growth experience for today's generation. When I first discovered that there were adults that were as obsessed with diapers and being a baby as I was, the feeling was amazing, even though I was watching it on Jerry Springer. Just knowing you aren't alone is huge. To know that people can have these interests and still be successful and otherwise 'normal' is a major relief as well. I don't know [if] ABDL should ever be as 'public' as sexual orientation, but I feel it should at least get about as much exposure as BDSM does. We're already moving in good directions. It'll take time, though.
• Increasing awareness about ABDL so that they know they are not alone. Also making ABDL more mainstream if possible.
• It sure is easier knowing there are many people out there... I grew up thinking I was the only one who liked diapers to wear.
• The primary difficulty growing up as such is believing you are alone in you strange desires. Knowing it was a relatively common thing may make younger people more comfortable with themselves and be more comfortable in talking with parents or their significant others down the road about their lifestyle.

Parents

• More resources available for parents of TB/AB/DLs. Stop the Jerry Springer and other shows that misrepresent what AB/DL is all about.
• Parents to love their child(ren) unconditionally instead of the current (if they're different they must be punished/treated badly). Parents also need to devote more time to talking to their kids rather than rely on the TV to look after them.
• Care and compassion from parents, etc.
• Early intervention to redirect their interests so they don't develop into ABDLs.
• Hmm...I would have to say parents that love their child for what he/she is. But we both know that will probably not happen for a while.
• Reaching and educating parents. Information is key. It is necessary to overcome the stereotype portrayed by the media, and the public in general. Most parents turn to the Internet, so sites portraying this as less harmful, especially to the teen is essential.
• Acceptance by parents. My parents' first reaction was to put me in therapy--frankly, they needed it more than I did. I felt that I needed support because I lacked it in those closest to me--and had I felt supported, it would not have been as big a deal as it was. Had I been better accepted for who I was, I would have achieved a healthier sense of self-esteem sooner than I did.
• A better understanding of the adult/teen baby by parents and siblings.
• Having parents that understood and allowed them to wear diapers.
• If you have loving parents or a good friend, have an honest conversation with them. Explain in detail what it is about regression that makes you feel good, explain the innocence and desire for simplicity. If explained well, most kindhearted people can at least understand why you would want to regress. We all want to escape somehow, some stranger than others. Also...MODERATION. Too much of a good thing is never good. Keep sex out of it, it makes things so much simpler...both morally and relationally.
• The parents should just accept it and buy them more diapers
• Educating parents that their child will be fine, just has an odd quirk and should not be ostracized for their behavior.
• Let them potty train when they or if they want.
• More open-mindedness in parents and more accessible parents for communication about embarrassing needs, wants, or desires.
• Understanding parents
• Having parents that are willing to let you experiment and accept the choices he/she makes.
• One of the things is the often premature expectation for children to grow up it is not a good thing to do it causes resentment.
• Don't lie to your parents.
• Having parents Understand what's going on.
• Letter C. Letter E. Conversation. Education. Young people need someone to talk too, ideally a parent, and that person needs to be able to listen to absolutely anything the child says without giving them ANY sense that they may be judged negatively for their feelings. This is a general statement for all young people, of all types, and of all preferences. Adults need to learn about things that they hear from kids.
• Possibly more parental acceptance and less stigma attached to wearing and liking diapers and associated stuff. More would grow out of it, instead of developing into lifelong a closet AB/DL.
• Neutrality. Parents that did not disagree nor agree with their child's decision. It is overwhelmingly awkward if a parent is "enthused" by it, yet, then again, its painful when the parent is condescending.
• Parents should find out if their child is AB/DL anyway. If so, they should do anything to let the child accept these feelings and bring those into practice.
• Understanding and talking with parents without punishment or forcing one to stop. Having information about AB/DL easily available to parents.
• I think a non-judgmental attitude is key, especially in the family. On the level of society, uncommon but harmless interests especially of a sexual nature should be more readily accepted. Education may be needed to change the general attitude.
• What would make growing up easier would be more understanding from parents through educational tools or channels relating to the AB/DL lifestyle.
• I was lucky enough as a kid to have some privacy where I could come to a slightly better understanding of myself and my desires, but its still confusing to myself and probably even more to others and I don't think its easy for anyone.
• A parent who did not fly off the handle all the time, One that listened to me once in a while, one who was less quick to judge and punish, a parent who was more into nurture and less into her own drama. I was never a child, I was always responsible for younger siblings getting punished because I could not make them mind, or because I did make them mind but I used punishment which was not my place to give. I just wanted to make my Mother happy but I never was quite good enough.
• Allowing children to have a childhood and not be rushing to get kids enrolled in every activity there is. Childhood is an important part of life, a time for nurturing and fun and wonderment. It's not always possible in today's world but having a parent home with their children during those years would certainly help. IMHO kids are often forced out of their comfort zone way too early and it is this process that disrupts them the most.
• Help them gain understanding from parents and community, so they are able to understand themselves and live with themselves.

Self-

• Accept who you are.
• Be honest with one's self about it.
• It's a gift to know who you are.
• Be yourself.
• Just accept yourself as you are .. it is NOT a moral issue ..
• I really don't know if there is much that could be done to make it easier for young AB/DL's. At this point, the information about infantilism is fairly regularly available on the Internet, that anyone willing or able to do a search for it will find it. Just like many alternative lifestyles, the true difficulty is the self-acceptance that is necessary for the individual, as well as find a well to integrate their desires into a healthy lifestyle. In that regard, more experienced AB/DL's can certainly help by providing their experiences/mentoring for newer individuals.
• Thanks to the numerous AB/DL websites and changing times, it is easier to be an AB/DL today. That being said, the degree of secrecy required to be an active AB/DL is directly related to your personality, self image and degree of self confidence.
• Younger AB/DL's need to realize that the key to living with and dealing with ABDL in the modern world is self-acceptance. I think it's something that we all struggle with and something that makes a world of difference. You need to be able to love and accept this part of you before you can expect others to accept it.
• Life gets inexplicably easier when you learn to accept yourself. I became interested in psychology purely because I was fascinated with how I could have such an irrational desire for something I wanted and rejected at the same time. Now I'm looking at starting graduate school and the insight I've received from my fetish makes me a more empathetic person and a good (IMO) researcher. It took time for me to realize, but in actuality this fetish is a blessing for whoever has it. Somehow the simple act of wearing a diaper achieves the same pleasure a lot of people would have to work hard to get.

Teens

• To have Internet sites available that are not age restricted.
• Areas to communicate and learn that young AB/DLs are not alone and that others exist without delving into the sexual aspect of the lifestyle that really does permeate a lot of the discussion. That can be determined later in life, but the stress and shame of feeling alone and different seems to be the first thing to help the healthy emotional development of young AB/DLs.
• People could actually accept and help teens on their websites and help them through this, rather than trying to make it a taboo.
• Change the American law so that ADISC can have an 18- section again.
• Easier networking so young AB/DL's can find friends. Everyone I encountered involved in this lifestyle as a teenager was significantly older than me and I think it isolated me more.
• Having a place or website with information geared towards them.
• Provide places where young AB/DLs can go to be themselves and being accepted.
• More abundant resources displaying the vast number of community members. Perhaps a teen friendly forum, as the last of those went 18+ recently.
• Non-sexual based forums that accept under-18 visitors so they can understand they aren't alone and that it's OK to regress.
• I think the Internet has made a very easy and important outlet for young AB/DLs.
• Less hate. More "kid-friendly" sites that educate and help rather than just focus on the sexual aspect.
• A government run and funded Internet forum, where young AB/DL's can converse in a safe and secure environment. There is currently no safe place for pre-teens and teens to access support. ADISC was the last bastion!
• I think it would be beneficial to have a website for 10 or 13 and up children that is non explicit but where they are able to communicate and share thoughts and feelings on their AB/DL experiences with each other. Its a great thing for someone young to finally realize they are not alone, but being able to talk and share with other people would be more helpful. I'm sure they are feeling confused, embarrassed, different, abnormal, and all these feeling combined with normal adolescents puts a great deal of stress on someone so young. Being able to talk about it with peers I think would comfort and relieve these younger generation AB/DLs
• Some sort of support forum so that they know there are others like them (in an age appropriate context), and support for their parents (so they don't think they need fixing).
• To make them aware that they're not alone at an earlier stage, and access to talking about and experimenting with diapers and roleplaying in a safe loving environment (not sure how that could be accomplished). If they'd be too young to pursue that then at least having loving, caring parents and siblings to support them.

Understanding

• To help them understand that such kinks are not unusual and being an AB/DL does not make them a freak or a weirdo.
• More understanding
• Understanding of ABDLs
• More acceptance through understanding.
• Understanding from non-AB/DL's. For them to not think we are sick. Too many of the non-AB/DL community think the fetish has something to do with kids.
• More understanding of the condition and less links to pedophilia.
• Not sure really. A better understanding, even today, about using diapers for bedwetting certainly would have helped me.
• Understanding that it is just like any illness. I sure didn't grow up saying I wanted to wear diapers - it just happened.
• Wider understanding on ABDL'ism and no condemnation. Being compared to a serial killer or paedo is very bad for self esteem and this needs to be abolished, as humanity slowly starts to realize the diversity of human sexuality.
• For people to understand that there is nothing wrong with people [who] are AB/DL and that it does not mean they are perverts or anything like that.

Publicity

• More AB stuff in the UK media.
• More media coverage about sex and fetish[es].
• We should make it more acceptable for people to ageplay. This especially needs to be done for guys, who have to face the stigma of a guy wanting to act like a little baby. I think there needs to be real activism so we can push our organization public, instead of being ridiculed as a 'freak show' on TV. If people see who ABDL's really are they will most definitely change their minds. We need those who are most respected in society to do this.
• Positive portrayals of ABDL in the media
• Let's just have more general and open discussions about all forms of sexual likes and practices - AB/DL included.
• Increased general publicity and awareness of our issues in society at large.
• Positive examples of 'real' ABDLs from the typical range, not just the extreme examples which tend to be portrayed in the media. Genuinely informative web sites that promote acceptance of difference and self acceptance.
• Just let there be more awareness.
• ...When AB/DL is mentioned in popular culture, such as CSI or "My Strange Obsession", there should be less [confusion] regarding multiple conditions. i.e. on "My Strange Obsession" Riley Kilo was used. Riley Kilo is also transgendered and therefore people may have assumed that all AB/DLs are transgendered. Try to deal with one issue at a time. Furthermore, when AB/DL is shown, attempts should be made to not show an overly mature person in baby clothes. E.g. do not show a man with a beard and glasses with a bonnet in a crib. ...
• Positive media portrayals of AB/DL people, as well as educating the general public of the reality of the lives of AB/DL people.
• Greater public awareness of sexuality in general. Most people label sexual diversity as simply 'perverse'.
• Make the whole AB/DL thing much more known so when people find out about a particular person, it won't be the first time they have heard about it.
• More public acceptance and awareness of odd sexual practices.
• More public knowledge and acceptance
• ...there should be more references in media, UNLIKE TLC's "Strange Addiction" or Nat Geo's "Taboo". A gentle influence, like the video for the song "Same Love" by Macklemore is one fantastic example. It should be instilled in people that nobody knows the other side of the story. Some people have infantilist desires because they lost the opportunity for innocence. They should not be ousted because of it. Instructions not for "tolerance", but for "respect" should be instilled.
• Continue to bring it out in the open in order to make it a normal and accepted lifestyle choice.
• Making positive examples of AB/DLs more mainstream; increasing awareness of our subculture.
• Continued comic references to wearing diapers and/or wetting oneself - I think it helps a new DL feel like his/her interest is not so taboo. Reference Quagmire in a diaper on "Family Guy", the character Doug the Diaper Guy on the show "Victorious", the new depend commercials with football players, etc.
• Awareness and acceptance from the general public. The general public doesn't have to love it or even really understand it... but just know that many of the rumors aren't true and that people can still be great and be ABDL... it's a personal preference. Nothing more.
• Short of mass acceptance by family, friends, and associated groups, not much in my opinion. Education for parents regarding the fringe of human sexuality is hard to provide, and even less likely to be accepted easily. Working gradually towards widespread acknowledgment of AB/DL people, probably through mass media, would help reduce shocked reactions ("Oh, I already knew something like that existed. It's weird but not surprising.") and would encourage the parent/caregiver in question [towards] educating themselves rather than trying to crush the behavior.
• Coming out and talking about it. Like as much as the gay people try do. I find personally, that it was the abuse I got at 11 to 13 years old that brought me to be [an] AB/DL. It has helped me to cope with all the shit in the world and in my own life.
• Communication and openness, and acceptance of each other's differences
• More acceptance from the public eye.
• They should be able to live their life openly. We as [a] society [have] learned to accept race and homosexuality so we need to accept AB/DLs just the same. I am both gay and a diaper wearer and an adult baby. I make it known when I'm in the store or out anywhere. I have my paci in my mouth and my diaper is sticking out.
• If society did not condemn AB/DLs as perverts then they could come out more easily.

:)...?

• Free diapers
• More nap time in school... diapered.

Miscellaneous

• Enjoy it
• More maturity, comfort, openness and humour (and less anxiety) in general about sexuality, as well as diapers, toilet training and bathroom issues generally.
• No humiliation
• Every child just wants love, care, kindness, and understanding.
• Be as upfront with a spouse/other as possible.... It will alleviate issues further down the road
• That coming out of the closet is okay.
• While this will always be a relatively obscure fetish, Society adjusting it's attitudes towards the wide range of fetishes there are would greatly aid all of us. I think the fact of knowing that what I was into was weird and that chances [are that] other people would think I was some kind of freak is generally why majority of us hide our love of diapers.
• It would probably help if parents and carers were aware that if a child is diagnosed with ADHD or Autism Spectrum Disorders that ABDL and incontinence are bound to come with the territory; growing up myself, I had many preexisting self-esteem issues without having to add "this" to the fray.

Email BitterGrey Last Update: 1 Jan 2017| First 23 Sept 2013

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