Survey #2 - Conditions
As with any population of over one thousand individuals, those responding to Survey #2 had a number of conditions in addition to an interest in diapers and/or babyhood. Later analysis will explore whether AB/DLs collectively are more or less likely than non-AB/DLs to have any particular condition. Individually, the one most ready to comment on the AB/DL's experience is the AB/DL himself (or herself).
46)How have the conditions [covered in previous questions] affected or been affected by your being an AB/DL? Do you have a relevant condition that isn't listed above?
- I used to be a hyperactive child but I can not find
any trace of how this could be related with my interest in diapers and
baby stuff.
- Cant say the ADD/ADHD has affected my AB/DL stuff at all.
- I don't think they are related. I also think that ADHD is
something that everyone is capable of and may be related to late onset
of responsibility.
- I don't think so. It might have contributed to my late
toilet training, but I can't be sure.
- I have never really thought of my ADD as being related to
my interest in diapers
- I would take Ritalin for ADD it seemed to make me
depressed. Wetting and messing in my pants and being cared for was one
of the only ways I could feel happy and content with life. Even though
I felt humbled by filling my pants and diapers with urine and poop like
a 2 year old, I would still rather wear diapers than be normal.
- I'm ADD, not ADHD, it wasn't an option [in the survey].
- I don't think having ADHD contributed to becoming a
babyfur, but it may be able to help to get into that mindset, since
children tend to be more active and distractable than adults, and that
is a big part of ADHD.
- Not sure but, I know that I have a more difficult time
understanding my own emotions as an asperger, although I also know I'm
not
deeply affected with the syndrome, since I have spent lot of time
learning how to understand how other people feel and think, so I'm
actually worse at knowing why I do as I do than why other people do as
they do.
- I don't know exactly how but I do believe Asperger's
syndrome has had an influence in me being a TB.
- I think that Asperger's is perhaps related to a
predisposition to fetishism, but otherwise is relatively unrelated.
- I've trouble interpreting the feelings of the need to go
(cause of Aspergers), so I have random accidents if I don't follow a
toilet routine. Also the diaper is a more concrete way of sexual
stimulation than abstract humans and for [those with] Aspergers that is
more pleasant.
- I believe that my AB/DL desires developed at the same
time as my asperger's, and I think that they are somehow related.
- I am totally blind due to Septo-optic Dysplasia, which
most doctors haven't heard of. (I am quite proud to be a blind Aspie.)
The things that influenced my diaper fetish mostly involved my
difficulty potty training and almost constant bedwetting. This was only
stopped when I was diagnosed with diabetes insipidus at age 8.
(Diabetes insipidus does not involve insulin. It involves the lack of
ADH (Antidiuretic Hormone) for one reason or another. I have no
pituitary gland, so that explains that.
- Autism caused sensory problems though it did not cause my
incontinence.
- I had bed wetting problems until I was about in the 4th
grade. Because of this, my parents would occasionally get fed up with
the problems and stick me back into diapers... I remember this being a
big struggle for me... but when I would obey and wear the diapers, I
remember them giving me positive reactions. The diaper wearing wouldn't
last forever, just short periods of time, off and on.
- As a bedwetter I found comfort in diapers, which brought
out a fetish.
- Nocturnal enuresis (bedwetting) that continued into my
adult years. Over the years I've had various medical
evaluations/consultations, but with no resolution for my wetting issues
(especially bedwetting). I've incorporated AB things (actually adult
sizes of the same things I used during my early to late childhood,
i.e., footed jammies/sleepers, onesies, etc. The AB part of me is a
good coping mechanism because so many of the issues are SO comparable
to toddlers & preschoolers who are not yet completely potty trained
(I relate very well to the comparisons).
- My relevant condition: Nocturnal enuresis. Despite
absolutely hating waking up in a wet diaper almost nightly, I firmly
believe that this is what lead to my interest in this fetish.
- Being a bed wetter is what got me into this lifestyle
(AB) in the first place. And being AB has helped me through the
depression and abuse I suffered in my life. Still does. I think being
in this lifestyle, or actually living it if your able to (having a
nursery) helps us cope with life's problems which would otherwise be too
hard to cope with and drive other people to drugs and drinking. You
have to admit, diapers are much safer and diapers never killed or hurt
anyone.
- The severe depression drove me further into the AB/DL
world at a faster pace than I would otherwise have done. The mania led
me to explore interests with others that were not beneficial to myself.
- Well, as a teen, I was not at all discreet. My mood
swings caused me to act out in ways that exposed my AB/DL, or should I
say, love of nappies.
- I believe that my serious depression and mania make me
want the safety of being a baby or infant with all the discipline that
comes with that. I would enjoy letting go of control because beep down
I know that I have little control in some aspects of my life.
- I've been diagnosed as bipolar in the past... and, one of
my problems was spending money impulsively. Including on things like
diapers. I spent money on diapers when I shouldn't have in the past. My
mate really got on to me about that back then, but... I've fixed that.
I'm a lot more responsible with my money. But... as a result of the
things I did before and... such... I'm a bit more embarrassed and
ashamed about my love of diapers than if, perhaps, I didn't seem to
obsess over diapers in the beginning.
- I wasn't exactly diagnosed as incontinent, though I did
have problems off and on with bedwetting while growing up, and I
have/had episodes of wetting my pants and bed as an adult (all through
my 20's, I'm now 30, it still happens from time to time.) When I swing
toward the low side of the bipolar roller coaster, I tend to become
very insecure, and find myself regressing or backsliding into past
behaviors, such as finger sucking/chewing. I also find that the urge to
wear/use diapers and indulge my ab side becomes much stronger. I also
think that my parents illness when I was very young contributed
directly. In the case of my father, he was loving, but was suffering
horribly with the effects of Meniere's Disease and surgical attempts
to mitigate those symptoms. My mother was battling massive depression
and back injury (including spinal fusion surgery).
- A lot of people I have talked to on this matter think
that I have a sex drive that works on smell/odor because of a vision
disability. Also, I think that a pastor once used the analogy of a
dirty diaper to explain what sin is like. I wonder if this is why
fantasizing about immoral acts causing a sexually arousing dirty diaper
started. I don't know.
- I've been legally blind since birth, but this has nothing
to do with my AB/DL interests.
- My borderline personality DEFINITELY has to do with me
being an AB/DL. I am so afraid of abandonment and rejection, and all I
want to do it be held and cared for. Borderlines always want a mommy or
daddy figure to come back and take care of them and love them. That is
what I want. I figure if i'm a baby, I get reparented. Wearing diapers
helps a great deal in this as its such an intimate thing to get my
diaper changed by another person. For someone to change my messy and
wet diapers, it means that they truly care for me and are willing to
take care of me.
- I think that being an AB/DL and having a difficult time
finding friends that are involved in the fetish and/or a significant
other contributed somewhat to my last major depressive episode (about 5
or 6 years ago).
- Being an AB/DL that has made the conscious decision to
not be involved with anyone other than another AB/DL may have
contributed to my depression due to loneliness.
- I have some depression issues and I use the AB/DL world
as an escape from reality. Now I did not become an AB/DL because of my
depression but I use it to help. I like to compare it to losing
yourself in a good book. The book takes you to another land while the
AB/DL takes you to a time where depressing matters did not concern
you.
- I believe I had been diagnosed with depression when I was
younger, about 10. Both my parents have been treated for depression (my
mother is currently being treated for bipolar, though). I've gotten
better at dealing with my problems as I've grown up, so now I'm not
taking any antidepressants, I don't feel like I need them and I haven't
for years. Diapers and the babyfur mindset are a couple of the things I
tend to turn to when I'm feeling sad. They aren't the only things, but
they've become alternatives to pills. Focusing on the idea of being
taken care of through AB/DL fantasies is very soothing and it helps me
through tough times.
- I like to wear diapers cuddle my stuffed animals and have
when I am depressed. It helps me relax and get over what's bothering
me.
- Depression over accepting who I am
- All I have been diagnosed with was clinical depression 6
years ago, which I still believe I have some, but it is not medically
treated. I do not think this caused being AB/DL, but I do believe that
AB/DL and other stresses all were apart of causing the clinical
depression.
- The depression has come about by non acceptance from
others or a perception of who I am that isn't true.
- The depression doesn't affect my AB/DL side nor vice
versa.
- The only way depression has affected me being an AB/DL is
that being an AB/DL makes me less depressed
- I think the depression became worse as I tried to cope
and understand my love of diapers. I believe it also played a large
role in my divorce, mostly because my ex could not deal with it, even
though she knew about it before we married.
- I find, when I am feeling depressed, that a major
factor/reason is that I feel unloved and uncared for. Being able to
slip into my AB persona, my little side, allows me to seek out the care
and affection that, as an adult, I do not feel I can ask for. It gives
a certain amount of freedom in that respect. Where adults might be
frowned at or chastised for seeking hugs, back rubs, and snuggle time
from one another, a baby can (and indeed, is encouraged to) ask for
these things whenever they want them.
- The feeling of wearing a diaper and being changed by my
loved one helps dramatically with my depression.
- I think the depression allowed me to be independent of
others and be within' myself more. This let me explore my fantasy's in
private and allowed my fetish to develop.
- I don't think depression affects me being AB/DL
- I have experienced severe recurring depression over
infantilism. Sometimes I can go months, even years, being quite self
accepting, and then be struck with anguish over my interests.
- I don't feel my clinical depression (which was the result
of a divorce) was in any way related to my AB/DL interests.
- At times the shame of the diapers effects my depression.
- The depression happened many, many years after I
discovered being an AB/DL. In fact the fetish helped me trough it at
times.
- I'm ambidextrous with a slight preference on the right
side. (I was "forced" to write with my right hand at school... I
didn't much care and used to draw and sometimes write with the left....
these days most "mechanical" tasks I can do equally well with either
side.)
- I was left-handed and forced to change to right-handed at
school AT THE FOSTER HOME, AT THE AGE FROM 6 TO 12. now I am RIGHT
HANDED (see question 47)
- Until I was 15 I had rare bedwetting accidents (about 8
to 10 per year)... My parents never made me wear diapers (although I
once ASKED for this)... but I had one of the old-style rubber sheets
beneath the bed covers... I loved the sheet. - however around 19/20 I
had a serious bladder infection which basically rendered me incontinent
for almost two months (bedwetting and daytime accidents)... so I was
basically depending on diapers for that period... This experience has
shown me that I truly just love diapers - but would not want 24/7
unless I had a medical condition. It had some influence on my DL side,
as it also made me more "secure" as I really noticed people don't "see"
my diapers... It made me a bit more "free" as when and how I want to
wear & use diapers. So whilst at the moment I don't have any
medical condition (incontinence or non related) and am perfectly
healthy - there were a few "conditions" which kind of influenced my DL
Side.
- If anything, long-term urinary incontinence drove me away
from anything related to diapering for a long time. I hated the lack of
choice involved; even though there are times nowadays that I wouldn't
mind going back to wearing diapers or pullups on a regular basis, I'm
still frequently scared that I might be losing control on the occasions
that I do have genuine accidents.
- I choose to become AB/DL at the age of 14, and have kept
myself in diapers since then, even through my marriage. So I was an
AB/DL before my incontinence began.
- I have been a DL since my early teens and had interests in
diapers long before I started actually wearing them. I now have urinary
incontinence caused by a medical problem.
- Diapered 24/7 (medical) since I must wear diapers I have
fun with it
- I have fecal incontinence for about the last 5 years but
enjoyed wearing nappies before that.
- I have always worn diapers 24/7 for wetting and messing.
When going through puberty those diapers when wet and messy became a
turn-on.
- It gave an easy way to introduce my fetish to my
girlfriend
- I suffered encopresis for the first several years of my
life. I'm unsure of the effect on my being an AB/DL.
- I became incontinent as an unexpected side effect of
surgery when I was 14 years old. I subsequently learned to enjoy the
diapers that I need to wear.
- I became interested in diapers at about 5 or 6 years old
when my cousin who is a year younger then me was diapered at night
because of bedwetting. I did not become urinary incontinent until just
a couple of years ago (I am 59 now)
- I have a degenerative disc disease that has caused me to
have to have several back surgeries, and as a result, I've lost control
of both my bladder and bowels. Since I was already an DL/AB, in that
order, this didn't cause me any distress or anguish over having to wear
diapers. Quite the contrary, I felt it was a dream come true. However,
after having to wear diapers now for over 5 and a half years, I can
honestly say that the "thrill" has gone out of it. Yes, I do still try
to make the best of it, and even enjoy it at times, but the lack of
having a choice in whether or not I can go someplace without a diaper
on is depressing at times. And dealing with a messy diaper, especially
in a public place like a restaurant, is very difficult, as I don't just
walk around carrying my diaper bag everywhere. I usually leave it in my
car, and if I need it, I'll walk out and get it and go back into a
restroom to take care of business. Or, if I'm close enough to home, and
it's a messy one, I'll just go on home and deal with it there, and go
back into town to finish whatever I need to do then. I used to be very
sexually aroused by my diapers as well, but as time has gone by, I find
it ever more difficult to get excited by them. Part of the reason is
because of my physical condition, the same reason I'm no longer
continent is the same reason I find it difficult to get excited. It's a
two edged sword for me, or "catch 22" if you will.
- I became incontinent as a result of being a full time baby.
- With OCD, I find the shape and feel of a diaper on
someone to be a very positive sensation of viewing and touching.
- Although I've never been diagnosed with obsessive
compulsive disorder, I've read recently, that there are similarities to
OCD and fetishes. So maybe I do have a form of OCD.
- In regards to the OCD I have a strong dislike of tidy
environments to the extent that I will pull things off shelves and
leave piles of games, sketches & doodles, or remnants of other
activities strewn about to feel more comfortable with the environment.
It results in a childlike messiness and reliance on others to clean up
after me which furthers the mental undertones that I associate with the
roleplay and environmental comforting side of being an AB
- Because I have OCD, I have the need to be extremely clean
about everything I do, including the the changing and cleaning up of my
(or my girlfriend's) diapers. Usually, changes occur on my bed, but no
matter what type of contact has been made, the sheets must be changed
before I can sleep in the bed again.
- I have Becker's muscular dystrophy. I feel it as affected
my behavior because I have felt weakened/helpless at times due to it,
and my lack if of performance in my childhood has been a subject of
humiliation.
- From when I was born until I was twelve I had bronchial
asthma really bad.
- Schizoid Personality Disorder and/or Avoidant Personality
Disorder
- Cerebral palsy
- I also have Tourette Syndrome, which is closely related to
OCD and ADHD, though generally considered a physical disorder, not
psychiatric. I think my medical problems are closely related to my
having an interest in diapers and medical fantasy. Though I don't
recall it, I understand that I was in hospital for some time when I was
a year old, and strongly suspect it left a massive imprint on me. Also,
as I grew older and my incontinence got worse, I turned to diapers to
deal with it, only to discover that wearing them helped me handle my
stress level as well as my accidents.
- Tourette's Syndrome
- I was "diagnosed" as gifted, an attribute that
complicated my initial school experience. It has nothing to do with
AB-DL, in my opinion.
- I got something called DGS (delayed growth syndrome).
It's a
genetic thing, that provokes growing troubles in your organs. one of
those organs where my bladder, when I was a kid (preteen), so I had to
wear diapers. I'm a dyslexic also. This stuff provoked that I had more
attention than the rest of my brothers...
- No, I don't believe it has affected anything, I have been
diagnosed with Chrone's disease, but that was long after I became an
AB/DL, which has nothing to do with my situation.
- No. Maybe alcoholism?
- Cerebral Palsy, Multiple Sclerosis.
- I have a learning disability but it doesn't affect my
diaper wearing I just got into diapers by commercials and youtube
videos.
- I have minor Diabetes Type II, but despite 32 years of
examinations by urologists the medical cause of my bladder incontinence
remains a mystery. I monitor my blood sugar level and manage my
diabetes, under my internist's care, using diet and exercise.
- I tended to have messy and wet accidents for a long time.
I have dyslexia and prosopagnosia I also wish I was a girl so dress as
fem as I can.
- PTSD leads to vulnerability. Vulnerability leads to
ageplay for me.
- I am a soldier and have been diagnosed with PTSD. While I
was into this fetish long before I went to war, my erratic sleep
cycles, night terrors, and occasional bedwetting have caused me to "pad
up" more. I find when I am wearing a diaper that I feel more secure and
relaxed than I would otherwise. I do believe there is a distinct
correlation between my disorder and how I now view the fetish.
- I have had PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) from
childhood abuse by multiple people. Being an AB helps deal with the
flashbacks and nightmares as I have a large problem feeling safe.
Sleeping in the crib gives a feeling of being safe. So I think being AB
helps provide some help to being able to deal with everyday life.
- I think my AB/DL side might be connected to
transsexualism. Seeing as how I didn't get to be little in my correct
gender, that might be why I haven't grown past it.
- My interest in being a baby is directly related to my
desire to be female. Very early in life I felt like I was a girl
trapped in the wrong body and I wanted a chance to do life over again,
start as a baby girl and grow up "correctly" this time. I have almost
no interest in being a baby boy again (I wasn't happy with that the
first time) and it's not really a fetish for me; more a need to explore
thoughts and feelings that I was denied in my actual childhood.
- Well for 16 years or more I kept crossdressing and ab/dl
a secret from everyone except those I was intimate with. While getting
therapy for a rather nasty break-up and depression I have started to
talk about crossdressing and ab/dl. It has helped immensely to better
understand myself, my wants and desires concerning these parts of my
life and hopefully I will continue to grow and develop as a person,
crossdresser and a diaper lover.
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