By BitterGrey with contributions from Tad Pole, Herry, and Peter Pan of BBIF
Also called "conditional incontinence", wetting like a baby only when wearing diapers might seem like the best of both worlds. It can give a taste of what incontinence might be like without requiring wearing diapers 24/7, possibly for the rest of one's life. It might offer easy, carefree wetting, but not the sense of being "back in diapers", forever dependent on them. It is the flipside of having a shy bladder; being unable to not wet the diaper, as opposed to being unable to wet it. The methods are similar as well.
"If I'm not wearing a nappy I can work for hours without feeling any urge to pee. In a trusted nappy I find myself wetting every 20 minutes or so... almost, but not quite, without thinking about it. This happens straight away, even if I've not worn a nappy for some weeks." -Tad Pole
It might be best to expect only partial success. The first reason is biological: Conditional incontinence requires everything to work. In contrast, basic incontinence can be achieved by crippling one of a list of habits, reflexes, or muscle groups.
Furthermore, a sense of success might be more elusive than actual success. Consider a person who sometimes dribbled without conscious control when in a wet diaper, but who's sphincter would reflexively tighten in response to larger flows. Unaware of the dribbling, he'd think he still had complete control.
With practice, it is reasonable to expect easier, less intentional, more frequent wetting when in diapers. These might or might not be counted as "accidents." The transition between the two modes is most clear when putting the first diaper on. You might find yourself wetting the diaper shortly after taping it up, even though you didn't need to pee before.
As with many things, individual results will vary. Note that those with shy bladders might not necessarily have a harder time with this; they won't need to get control, just change some behaviors they don't control.
Much of what we think of as control is actually a subconscious association of when it is OK to urinate, and when it is not. We need to modify those associations, as well as some habits and practices. There are a number of methods that can be used. We'll start with the basics: Being consistent, eliminating negatives, and not over-thinking. You'll probably be using these methods even if you decide to focus on one of the other methods, such as hypnosis, visualization, and lying.
Consistency is critical. First and most simply, forbid yourself from ever holding pee when in diapers. This involves never wearing diapers anywhere or anytime you wouldn't want to wet, and never wearing a diaper you can't trust. Decide if you wish to be incontinent while changing into a diaper as well, and make the necessary preparations to wet then sometimes too.
Having more clues will help, but be aware of what those clues are. Your subconscious, nervous system, etc., don't magically know whether you are in a diaper or not. As a result, having clues other than just the diaper will help. Wetness is one that you've probably already experienced: Wetting the diaper a second time is easier than the first. Other clues include time of Day (such as evenings or bedtimes) and penis position (such as 'up' only when undiapered and 'down' only when diapered). These and other clues should be used consistently or intentionally made inconsistent. For example, wetness wouldn't be an appropriate clue for an ABDL who swims often, but swimming often would also provide the inconsistency needed to prevent wetness from being used as a clue.
Maximizing the positives during your training, such as praising yourself for progress, giving yourself an affirmation of what you want, or simply taking the time to enjoy the process of wetting might help. However, they also involve consciously focusing on wetting. Herry points out that "focusing on wetting keeps it at the conscious level, but the goal is to get the automatic wetting into the subconscious level. I think it's like Quantum physics, where the attempts to measure the outcome affect the results" As a result, it might be best to give as little thought as possible to wetting before you do it, and maybe even while you are doing it.
There also might be a temptation to stop what you are doing, stand still, and wait to wet. This dedicates too much intentional thought and preparation to what we hope to be an accidental surprise. It might be better just to go about what you are doing and let the bladder empty later, when it is ready. Assuming that holding still isn't necessary to avoid pain or the risk of flooding, that is.
Eliminating the negative results - punishments - is probably the most effective approach, mainly because it provides a better overall experience in addition to helping with retraining. One negative experience can undo much positive progress.
The most ubiquitous punishment of wetting diapers is the risk of leaks. It is important to have confidence in your diaper and all the other layers of insurance. Tad Pole shares that "Wetting a thick nappy in a bed protected by a rubber sheet is easy. Wetting a thin nappy in an unprotected bed almost impossible." Herry adds "the conscious needs to know the diapers will work in order for the subconscious to use them."
This leak avoidance sometimes conflicts with wetness as a clue: If you are having trouble wetting a dry diaper, making it feel wet will help, but if you are having trouble with a wet diaper, it might be time to change into a dry one. Your subconscious might be able to accurately gauge the risk of leakage - and not wet a diaper that is about to leak.
Unlike the methods above, these methods will require an invested effort that might be ineffective. They include hypnosis, visualization, and lying.
Hypnosis can range from a full hypnosis regimen or just a suggestion file playing in the background while you work out. Here too, consistency plays a role: Wetting during a particular hypnotist's file will be easier if you always wear diapers when listening to that hypnotist.
Visualization is a method used by athletes to mentally rehearse the desired performance. It has limitations here because we aren't able to see critical parts of the performance, and so have to imagine. Also, it lacks the submission involved with hypnosis as well as the large collections of free files.
Lying: Disbelieved control is negated. Any method that convinces you that you are losing control might affect your beliefs and practices, eliminating control. An intentionally wet diaper and a helplessly wet diaper are exactly the same except for a brief intention, followed only by a memory. We don't really need to become conditionally incontinent: We can achieve the same effect by convincing ourselves that we are. This belief would then circularly, magically result in behaviors and emotions consistent with uncontrollable wetting while in diapers only. The lie then becomes true. This method has limitations, of course, especially for those who are researching untraining methods.
These secondary methods might or might not work for you.
The application of these methods might have undesirable side-effects, including reduced capacity, fuzzy transitions, and misread clues.
As with most bodily functions, bladder capacity and control will decrease if not used. The rate of this decrease varies. Herry commented that "It got to the point where, day or night, I'd need to pee every hour or two." Tad Pole writes "If I've been wearing nappies a lot for a few days and then stop, the next day or so I feel the urge to pee often and feel I have to get up to go straight away when the urge hits me. After a while this disappears."
In addition to decreased capacity, the transition between uncontrolled and controlled might not be as immediate as we'd like. Peter Pan shares "I wear a cloth nappy every night. ... In the morning my bladder will sometime take a while to wake up and I wet my nappy uncontrollably till it does. I'm not always aware that I'm wetting my nappy."
Finally, there is the risk that clues might be misread. For example, the author discovered by accident that his body was using penis position as a clue. Fortunately training wasn't at the point where this caused an accident out of diapers.
Since retraining for uncontrolled wetting in diapers only is a gradual process for most, dealing with these is a matter of small adjustments to practice while wearing diapers sometimes and not wearing sometimes. Herry continued ..." Since then I've been working on regaining capacity. I suspect I've lost the uncontrolled wetting at night-time. It's something I liked having, but I'm not sure it's worth the loss of holding power." This gradual adjustment with working (or mostly working) biology is much easier than, for example, deciding not to wear 24/7 and having to retrain from some level of incontinence.
While not the full experience of incontinence, reducing wetting control while in diapers can add to the ABDL experience without immoderate risks. If you wear diapers often, you are probably some small measure into the process of uncontrolled diaper wetting. These methods might help you accelerate the process, although an ideal conditional incontinence might be difficult to achieve. Hopefully while reading this article, you developed a clearer picture of where you would like to be and are better equipped to get there (or back to there).
Do you have Questions, tips, suggestions, or other feedback?
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