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Understanding Infantilism (.org)

Is Infantilism Acceptable? A Questionare - Indented

By BitterGrey

This question is hard to answer because it is broad and unreasonable. It's unreasonable because we don't think in terms of acceptability, but unacceptability. We can't give a reasons that something is acceptable, but it is easy to give reasons why something is unacceptable. The law is the same way. We don't have one general law that people are expected to keep, but lots of specific laws that people are forbidden to break. Things are legal only if they are not illegal. Safety is like that as well. Being safe is merely a matter of not being in danger from anything that is unsafe. It is a negative approach, but it works. As a result, something is acceptable only if it is not unacceptable for any reason.

One benefit to this negative approach is that we can divide the question. Instead of one question about "any reason," we can ask lots of questions about specific reasons. Better still, there is only a limited set of specific and likely reasons. While everyone's infantilism is different, and everyone's answers different, the questions can be pretty much the same. The broad, unreasonable query can now be answered with a standard checklist.

To keep your answers for reference, you can print this page out, or save it to your computer and edit it electronically. Using Netscape, you can access the editor by selecting File => Edit page. If you aren't using Netscape, you may be able to use your word processor to edit the file, but you may have to tell it to look for "all files" when opening.

This checklist is divided into six steps. In the first step, please write down the specific practices that you are interested in or are willing to explore. Try to be complete. Next, write down things that you would not be willing to do in the second box. The second box won't be complete. It is there mainly to record things that were in the first box, but you decided against afterwards.   These aren't written in stone.

The second step deals with the first-person concerns: Do I believe..., Do I want..., etc. They are the most basic and should be addressed first. Each question is yes or no, and the rightmost column gives some suggestions for how to handle "yes" answers. The third step deals with the third person concerns: friends, children, coworkers, etc. The fourth step explorers the possibility that infantilism might be a symptom of something else.  The fifth step focuses on practical matters.  Finally, the sixth step covers anything missed in the previous questions.

Once you have resolved all of the "yes" answers, you will have shown your infantilism to be acceptable.  If one or more "yes" answers linger, then there is something that you will need to resolve.  There are always options.  If the "yes" persists, then there is a reason that your infantilism is not acceptable.  Either way, you will have examined your position and done your best to act accordingly.  Either way, you will have acted acceptably.

This questionnaire is also available as a bulleted list , which may be easier to read in text-only systems or on narrow displays.

Step 1:Infantilism as you practice it:

Everyone practices infantilism in different ways.  For reference, please write down what practices you are interested in, or might consider doing as part of infantilism.  Feel free to revise or refine this description latter.

Below, please list practices that you would not consider doing.  

Step 2:  Is it personally & Spiritually OK?

  1. Does infantilism run your life?  Are you a slave to it?
  2. Does infantilism preclude you from doing something else that is more important to you?
  3. Do you regularly turn to diapers for emotional comfort or as a reaction to serious problems?  Have they become an idol for you?
  4. Do you believe that infantilism is Forbidden by your religion?
  5. Do you have a personal conviction that infantilism is immoral?
  6. Do you believe that traditional wisdom opposes infantilism, and is reliable in that opposition?
  7. Are you uncertain about the answers to the above?

This category addresses core issues that will affect your life and may need to be dealt with.  The above questions involve you and your relationship with God.  If all questions are answered "no," then there is no reason in Step 1 for infantilism to be unacceptable.  Please move on to Category 2.  However, if any of the answers are "Yes" then there is something that you must resolve first.  You should not practice infantilism as long as you have a "yes" above.

Step 3: Is it socially acceptable?

This category involves the rest of society as well.  There is more room for negotiation and adjustment here, but the number of people involved may complicate things.  While the above questions may have driven major changes, these might only require discussion, negotiation, or planning.

  1. Does your infantilism directly hurt another person?
  2. Is there an unacceptable likelihood that it could start a chain of events that might hurt another?
  3. Do you need to reconcile your practices with your parents?
  4. Do you need to reconcile your practices with your children?
  5. Do you need to consider what to tell your friends?
  6. Do you need to reconcile your practices with your work?
  7. Do you need to reconcile your practices with your church?
  8. Is infantilism outlawed by the government?
  9. Are you around other infantilists who are abstaining from infantilism?

If you answered "yes" to these questions, then there are some things that you need to consider, discuss, plan, or negotiate.

Step 4: Is it a medically safe symptom?

Doctors and auto mechanics have one thing in common:  They are trained to look past the symptoms to figure out what the real problem is.  The real problem may be something much more dangerous.  Like a pain or a pinging, infantilism might also be a symptom of something else.  If you answer "yes" to these questions, you should probably treat it as you would a pain in your body or pinging in your car: if you think it's serious and can't resolve it on your own, ask a professional.  

  1. Do you sabotage yourself activities at school or work?  Do you subconsciously act in a  self-destructive way?  Do you hate yourself?
  2. Do you withdraw or regress to escape from stresses more than you used to?
  3. Did your infantilism surface suddenly after a trauma, and aren't sure if there were other effects?

Step 5: Is it practicable?

Needless to say, doing even the right thing in the wrong way is wrong.  However, these issues are just a matter of practice, and can usually be fixed.

  1. Does your infantilism impose a burden on your caregiver?
  2. Do you use a lot of disposables?
  3. Does infantilism cause you to be isolated?
  4. Do you tend towards more and more extreme expressions of infantilism?
  5. Do you have roomates?
  6. Do you desire to be made incontinent surgically?
  7. Do you expect insurance to pay for the diapers even if you aren't incontinent?
  8. Are there practices that you have not verified to be safe, or precautions that you haven't taken?

Step 6: Other Questions and Concerns

  1. Do you have any concerns or know of any risks that aren't addressed by this questionnaire?

- Updated:30 March 2011     

Do you have Questions, tips, suggestions, or other feedback?