After questioning what and why, the third question is often "Is it normal", "Is it Christian", or more generally,

Is Infantilism OK?

-by BitterGrey

Perhaps the greatest need for infantilists is that of acceptance. Infantilists may spend years, or decades learning to accept themselves.  They may conceal their desires from family, friends, wife, and church, because of the fear of rejection.  Like the square peg, they don't fit in.

They are up against a cultural bias. This bias is so ingrained that it has become invisible. Square pegs won't fit in round holes, but why do we presume that this is the peg's fault? Why is it the peg's fault for being square, and not the hole's fault for being round?

To complicate matters, the distinction between what a person is and what a person does is blurred. They are intertwined, but they are not the same. Even an ABDL finds his infantilism unacceptable, he needs to be able to accept himself. Our culture has few precedents of this, and so it is difficult. The difficulty of being different is one reason why so many try to be the same. However unfair it may be, it is the ABDL who has to deal with acceptability.

Acceptance of Self

The first battle must be fought internally.    Like most infantilists, I went through many cycles of trying to be "normal," and failing.   This failure came from fighting the wrong foe.    I struggled for "self control" while not realizing that this culture was controlling me.  I needed to take control by choosing my course; to break away from the careless cage . Like all infantilists, I needed to question whether infantilism is right or wrong for me. Don't blindly assume that being different is wrong. This search could be helped by asking the advice of others, but it's final conclusion had to be mine.

Fortunately, this question could be broken down into more specific questions. This results in a sort of questionare on acceptability.

The next step was to set goals and a path of reconciliation.    The goals should be carefully determined.   Avoid doing anything rash, extreme, or permanent.  They are usually regretted in time.  The goals should achievable, not overly optimistic or idealistic.  They also must include a way to recover, and get back on track.   This path of reconciliation is necessary, because the comic book heros that our culture idealizes only occur in comic books.  Real people can be heroic, but they sometimes fall short.  Realistic plans include goals and a path of reconciliation.

After evaluating our position, choosing our course, and earnestly pursuing it, we won't be perfect. However, we will be able to accept ourselves.

Acceptance from God

The evaluation of infantilism should include all facets, including the spiritual and social.   God loves us, and knows we aren't perfect.   However, we should still carefully evaluate the morality of infantilism.  While there are some Biblical references that can be applied, Christian morality is not black-and-white on this issue.

A blanket statement either way has dire risks. Simply concluding that it is sinful will force many to stand against their paraphilia. This is a terrible burden, and many Churches are ill-equipped to help. God is able to do all things, certainly, but we don't jump off bridges just so He can catch us (Matthew 4:5-7). We must be sure of our reasons and convictions. The alternative would be to say that infantilism is not sinful. The danger here is that a blanket moral statement - leveraged by an unsatisfied hunger - might drive people to act against their convictions. Acting against one's convictions is always a sin ( 1Corinthians 8:7 , 10:25-29 , Romans 14:14 ). There are dire risks either way. Each of us must draw our own conclusion about the matter.

Making peace with myself and God is an ongoing process. However, God's love and acceptance isn't at stake. They are  a gift, delivered in Jesus Christ.

Acceptance by Others

Infantilism is still an awkward point.  There is a constant concern about who I should let know that I'm different.   It would be so much simpler if I weren't.   But I don't have the option of being merely normal, so I must pursue being exceptional. Once I stopped worrying about being "normal," I realized that we are all the same.   Each person needs to come to terms with who he is and what he does. Each person needs to find -or make- a place where he fits in. Every person can be accepted, although some need to seek it harder than others.

Email BitterGrey Level: General | Status: Finished | Last Update: 23 January 2008 First Posted: 8 November 2001

	For a Second Opinion: ADISC.org wiki article on Acceptance LilJenies "Infantilism And Spirituality"
	Related Topics: Christians and BDSM Q&A by Sir Gardner "Of God and Diapers", a blog by Baby Brian. "Will there be a nursery in heaven?"
	Books and Other References: ChristiansUnite.com Bibles.net