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Understanding Infantilism (.org)

Remembering DPF

By Kent Perry


At some point in the mid-seventies the newspaper "Fetish Times" decided to conduct a poll to discover the most popular fetishes among its readers. There was quite a response, as the newspaper reported, and the editors and writers were, in their words, "in shock" to discover something many called "infantilism," which had placed second as most popular, right behind bondage/discipline. They admitted that they had never ever heard of this fetish and consequently did a bit of research to discover what it was all about. In a following issue of the paper, four of the editors dressed in baby clothes, complete with bottles and pacifiers, for a full page centerfold, partly to acknowledge their being unaware to the fetish world for not previously knowing about big babies and infantilism. It was quite a breakthrough for all of us who were newly coming together during the seventies to celebrate and embrace our long-held fetish and burgeoning community. For many of us it was a stamp of approval.


So just what was it that we all enjoyed? First of all, the old adage "no two people are alike" holds true, but our common interests include wearing and using diapers/nappies and sometimes wearing plastic or rubber pants over them. This is the fetish for what we now call Diaper Lovers. For Adult Babies, the activity can also include wearing and collecting adult baby clothing, eating baby food with baby plates and utensils, drinking (sometimes infant formula) from a baby bottle, using a pacifier, talking baby talk, playing as a toddler might with toys and games, and even enjoying time being nurtured by a "mommy" or "daddy." Needless-to-say, both Adult Babies and Diaper Lovers can also include other fetishes such as bondage, spanking, and many other areas in their play; the list goes on and on.

Before the introduction of DPF, there were many people who were getting acquainted through newspaper advertisements, word of mouth, introductions through friendship, purchasing publications which were being offered by several groups, including Florence of Milpitas, California, with her publications and sale of baby clothes, and Eugene Clennon of Oakland, California, with his group called Lil' Wrangler where he sold pictures of young men, often in diapers, as well as t-shirts with his logo. Occasionally publications such as "Penthouse Forum" would include letters from people into our "scene," and others called underground newspapers such as "Screw," Fetish Times" and the "LA Free Press" would feature articles or even pictures. All of this was very exciting to each of us who was hungry for anything dealing with Infantilism or the Big Baby scene. Every article, every new publication, every new personal contact and certainly every new product would be cause for twenty telephone conversations. (We are talking history here!) It was really an exciting time. However, many of us realized that we needed something more and that was an organization where people could come together in one place not only to correspond and meet, but to receive information about products, methods, and a better understanding of why we do what we do. There was more and more talk about creating such an organization, but no one had the time or energy to give to such an endeavor, that is until Tommy Siegel came along.

I met Tommy in the late seventies when he came to New York City on a business trip. He was forty- eight years old, attractive, slim with dark brown wavy hair. We shared some exciting times together, and I found him to be the most inventive and creative person I had met so far in our community. At that time he was married with two children and lived a very conventional (or so it appeared) life in the suburbs. His wife and children complained, he told me, that he was beginning to embarrass them by skate boarding all over his neighborhood; this seems innocent these days, but in the 1970s most businessmen in their late forties did not skateboard! Soon after this, he left his wife and moved into an apartment in Mill Valley, California, just north of San Francisco, but remained in his job.

Eugene Clennon was a well-respected man in Oakland, California, who was not only a high ranking member of the school system, but also had an organization called Lil' Wrangler where he sold photos of young men in diapers, plastic pants, boy scout uniforms, etc. His Lil' Wrangler Enterprises newsletter appeared either late in 1979 or early 1980, but did not contain a correspondence roster until May of 1982. Gene also held frequent parties, mainly for his young friends and models, parties which became quite popular in San Francisco and Oakland. I'm not sure if Tommy attended any of these get- togethers, but he very much wanted to attend. I was close to both of them, and I understood that Tommy was simply too intense for Gene, not to mention too old. It was no secret that Gene preferred young men (of legal age, of course). One Saturday afternoon in 1980 I was in my kitchen when I got one of my frequent phone calls from Tommy. He had just returned home from a visit to the home of Gene, as he had heard that there was to be a party that afternoon. (Later, Gene told me that all the partygoers had hidden in a back room when Tommy knocked on the door. As silly as this sounds, it is exactly what happened and what resulted in DPF!) He, Tommy, was very much distraught, almost to the point of tears on the phone. He asked me what he could do to make "them" like him and include him in their activities. I told him that it was time for him to start an organization that everyone would want to join. He listened to me and told me he would think about it. He called me back and told me that he had decided to do it, and that was the beginning of DPF! (Many years later the magazine "Nugget" did an interview with Tommy where he stated that I had given him the idea for DPF, which was flattering, but he was responsible for being the one who had the vision and energy to create such an important organization, and his enormous contribution is too often ignored. ) In issue 49, December 15, 1989, Tommy wrote, ". . . On a trip to New York, I met Kent Perry. We talked about the difficulty in finding and sharing with other people who had similar interests. 'You know, he suggested, what we really need is a Fraternity. ' Ken's words stuck in my mind. Later I decided to give it a try by sending out letters to all my new friends. By June 1, 1980, I was ready to publish the first DPF Information Letter, as it was known in those days." In the October 15, 1999, newsletter Tommy again repeated, "It is no lie to say that DPF might never have been had it not been for your ideas some 21 years ago." Ideas go nowhere without someone to take them and make them reality, and that person was Tommy!

Before we begin the history of DPF, I feel it is important to acknowledge the contribution of several other organizations which preceded DPF with correspondence lists, even though they were never as extensive or well-organized. Perhaps the first is a publication by the House of Milan in Los Angeles, which they called "Rubber Life," beginning in the summer of 1972. It contained numbered ads which were very often from adult babies, diaper fetishists and, of course, people into rubber. The second organization, which later became Amber Enterprises, was from a lovely woman named Florence from Milpitas, California. Her first publication was "the Crib Sheet" which she issued as a one-page letter containing ads from members on the second side and signed "Love Lori." I visited Florence in the summer of 1975, spending a good part of the afternoon in her modest home. At that time she was a middle-aged woman living on her own. She began making clothes for cross dressers sometime before our meeting. It turns out that a family friend introduced Florence to an interest in baby dresses and she became involved in making these, which led to "the Crib Sheet" in 1976 and later other publications. (It is reported that she died in 1997. ) The third enterprise was Infantae Press, which was headed by a man who called himself Cathy Slavik, of Seattle, Washington. Infantae Press had a long life publishing magazines and pamphlets such as "The Play Pen," "Tales of the Crib," and many others from the mid-seventies on until Slavik retired to the Philippines with his wife. DPF continued to sell his publications afterwards. Some of his publications contained correspondence lists as well. Looking at just three organizations active well before DPF, we can easily see that DPF was certainly not the first organization to attempt to introduce people to each other or discuss our shared fetish and interest.

In the spring of 1980, Tommy drafted a letter of introduction and an application and sent it to everyone with whom each of us had contact. Gene Clennon might have given Tommy his membership list as well. Tommy and I discussed what the club should look like and its format several times that spring, and on the first of June, 1980, the first issue was published. There were twenty-six charter members including Tommy, Gene Clennon and me. The cost of a year's membership was a whopping three dollars; the name of the organization was Diaper Pail Fraternity and it was up and running!

The Beginning, 1980

the pen sketch known as Andy

Issue 1 of The Diaper Pail Fraternity, as it was first titled, is not dated, but according to Tommy (Newsletter of December 15, 1989) it was sent to the twenty-six charter members on June 1, 1980. It was four double-sided pages long, but by April, 2001, issue 117 had grown to 36 pages double-sided. Issue 2 was issued on July 2, 1980, and there were 54 new members, followed by issues 3, September 1, 1980, and issue 4 , probably December 1980. In the upper left hand corner, there was a figure of a diapered male, on his knees, with his hands behind his back; this "logo" was known as Andy and appeared on almost every DPF newsletter.

Tommy began the first issues with a welcoming, "Hi Fellow DPFers! WE'RE LESS THAN TWO MONTHS OLD (STILL A BABY). This is DPF's first Information Letter. So now you know all about your fraternity's history. There is none! However, the response to the initial mailing indicates that we are going to grow and grow and going to be really big soon. And each of you is going to reap more and more benefits from being members. Thanks loads for being among the first to join. The roster is already several pages long and growing daily. So you are sort of charter members."

This was followed by several members' letters, an explanation of how DPF will handle ads in various publications to attract new members, and asking for suggestions from members regarding the wording of such ads. Tommy then asked for members' contributions, "NOTHING IN - NOTHING OUT," stating that ". . . if you want to receive you have got to give too. If nothing is contributed to the DPF Information Letter then there is going to be nothing in it for you. . . . Please mail something interesting for inclusion in future DPF Information Letters." Tommy had asked new members, in his initial invitation for membership, to indicate what kind of information members wanted to receive as opposed to what kind each was willing to contribute. As he pointed out from the results, the percentages were high for "receiving" and low for "contributing", as follows with several examples:

   81%    19% Names of books, magazines or articles of interest.
   88    8 How to locate new potential DPFers in your area.
   81    27 Where to buy various supplies cheap (diapers, plastic pants, etc. )

There was information on how DPF would handle lengthy contributions of stories, by listing these in a separate department, and members would be able to request these to be sent without charge. (This complimentary policy later changed, of course. ) This was followed by mention of the pictures that Gene Clennon was selling, including his address, but no mention of his organization, Lil' Wrangler. Tommy and Gene became far better friends after the introduction of DPF, it should be noted.

Tommy lists four things to come, including book reviews, information on other clubs, and "a pill that makes you pee and pee and pee." Tommy signed off by asking for names and addresses of people who you think might be interested, saying that "this will help keep us growing and growing. HAVE FUN!!!!! So long for now, Tommy." He signed his name, which he continued in almost every newsletter. All of this was on the first two pages, back to back. The last two pages consisted of what everyone wanted most of all; the correspondence list!

a latter sample roster

[An image of a latter sample roster is shown to the right.] The list had a "key" which was filled out with letters and numbers corresponding to specific interest, such as A=Diapers, B=Plastic Pants, C=Baby Clothes, D=Wetting, E=Cross dressing, F=Little boy, G=Little Girl, H=Humiliation, I=B/D, J=Spanking, K=W/S, L=Scat, M=Enemas, N=Catheters, O=Discipline, P= Punishment, Q=S/M and (finally) R=Other. The information also was to include your name, city, state, race, age, weight, waist, height, hair, eyes (the last two referring to color), phone and address, plus stating a preference for being dominant, submissive or other, and gay, bi, straight or other. As you can see, there were questions and information which would never be asked or provided these days. Members often used their real names, or a variation, plus felt safe listing an actual address, phone number and other vital information; one can easily see just how different things were in 1980. So the first issue was mailed and was the beginning of a revolution in bringing together people from, eventually, all over the world to what is now the ABDL/Little community.

The September 1, 1980 issue, numbered 3, stated that at least ten brothers (no mention of sisters) were joining DPF every week. It also was the first time there was mention of an adult disposable diaper, sold by Data Products of Island Park, New York. (This diaper was thin, and even though it was welcomed by many who were ready to move on from cloth diapers, was primitive and inadequate, but a start. ) There was also a letter from Jim of Boston regarding the "inner meaning" of the thing we DPFers do. Jim wrote, "My position is that infantile clothing and articles are secondary to a more vital need to demonstrate vulnerability and achieve a more emotional relationship with a partner." There was more from Jim, and this preceded Tommy's own essays which were included in many issues titled "The Inner Meaning of It All." There were fifty-six members in this issue including the first from Great Britain. I met this member the following year (in London) and he told me that DPF was the first publication he had encountered dealing with our interest, and he was grateful to become part of it.

The following issues, four to seven a year, followed very much the same format, with slight variations. Tommy added many, many new departments, services and products, as we shall see, but the newsletter always began with notes and messages from Tommy, under the logo, and ended with the correspondence list or roster, plus order forms for products. Needless-to-say, there were those who went right to the list of new members the minute that gray envelope arrived. For many, who always felt that they just might be the only one in the world with this special interest, it was perhaps the most exciting event in their otherwise ordinary lives, and it was happily repeated every two to three months.


In the next five sections we will look at the growth and development of DPF by examining each half decade, beginning with 1981 to 1985. During the five years beginning in 1981, it was an exciting time for DPF and its members. Even though Tommy continued to work full time during this period at his regular job, he worked tirelessly to grow the newsletter with interesting content and new members by placing ads in various gay and straight magazines and newspapers. He often asked the membership for suggestions as to where ads should be placed to attract both men and more importantly women. From the beginning, attracting women was a very popular topic and objective, and even though there were many women who eventually joined, the club remained mostly male. The reasons for this were often debated and discussed.

Tommy continued writing his essays titled "The Inner Meaning of it All" and by issue 6, May 1,1981, he was up to Chapters 6 and 7. Tommy combined several psychologies popular at time to support his ideas of why we, diaper devotees and adult babies, do what we do. There were many letters from members telling Tommy that his ideas had helped them accept their involvement, but others found his ideas sincere, but pedantic.

In the issue of September 1, 1981, Tommy announced that the yearly fee would be increased to $10.00 partly due to the fact that he was now forced to use a commercial printer. The membership continued to increase, and by August 15, 1984, there were a record number of 88 new and renewing members in the roster. Toward the end of this half decade there were usually at least 80 listings. In the October 15, 1983, issue, numbered 14, Tommy announced that DPF was now four years old. He declared that "today DPF is truly the spokesperson for our community. Current new membership is about evenly split between straight and gay."

New features included "Behavior/hypnosis" articles which preceded the creation and marketing of hypnotic tapes for various behavioral changes, including bedwetting and regression, but these were sold many years later. Another new feature which became quite popular was the publication of "Bedtime Stories, Vol. 1." This was introduced in the April 1, 1985, issue 20. (By the way, the issue numbers for newsletters is confusing in that Tommy used issue number 14 for both the October 15, 1983, issue as well as the January 15, 1984, issue. ) These publications were produced and sold throughout the life of DPF. Yet another new feature was the sale of "DPF Story Supermarket" whereby members could purchase stories from the stockpile of over one hundred stories, written by members, which had previously been sent free of charge. The sale of these individual stories was announced in the May 15,1985, newsletter numbered 21, and each sold for between one dollar and four dollars. It is interesting here to note that in the November 15, 1985, newsletter we have our first mention of the members' growing use of computers as one member writes that someone should think about starting a computer bulletin board. It is important to add that in this same issue a very serious and informative article on AIDS was presented. This discussion of this important topic was continued in subsequent issues and for good reason, as we all know too well.

Tommy was single, having left his wife and children at some point just before the start of DPF, and gleefully announced in the September 1, 1981, newsletter that he was adopting a baby boy! This "boy" was a young man named Mark and came to live with Tommy as his partner soon after. Their relationship and trials in making a life together was well documented in a very honest and caring manner in a series of articles titled "Marky and Me." Mark and Tommy stayed together most likely until the end. (As of this point no one knows the whereabouts of either man, even though there is speculation that Tommy suffered from Alzheimer's disease. It would obviously be beneficial to talk to Mark, but his location seems to be a mystery. ) I do think it important to mention that overall Mark was a positive influence in Tommy's life, just as Tommy was Mark's emotional "dad" in their relationship, providing support and guidance when he needed it most.

There was another important announcement in the January 15, 1984, newsletter, issue 14: The first opportunity of a meeting of all members was to take place the week of the 20th of August that summer. It was "Baby Week 1984," and everyone was invited to attend a series of activities, dinners, parties and hikes/cookouts in various parts of the city as well as in the area north of San Francisco called Mill Valley.

Of course not everyone could attend, but there were 24 members who did attend. I was lucky enough not only to be at the party but I was also chosen to spend each night in Tommy's very professional crib, which turned out to be a dubious honor. There was a follow-up Baby Week 1985, but it seems few members attended, which was quite a disappointment to Tommy. Those who did attend were reported to enjoy the planned activities, meals together and the opportunity to meet and reconnect with fellow members.

We end this half decade with a very sad note which was announced in the May 15, 1985, newsletter, Issue 21. Charter member, owner and operator of Lil' Wrangler and much admired long-time active member of the diaper/big baby community, Eugene Clennon, died on April 14, 1985, after being operated on for a triple bypass. This was a very sad time for such a young movement and particularly difficult for me as we had grown close; he wrote a lovely letter to me from his hospital bed the morning he died, a letter which meant a great deal. In the January 1, 1986, newsletter Tommy announced a Scholarship Fund in Gene's name.

So, time to look at the latter half of this fertile decade.


The growth of the club between 1980 and 1985 was impressive, but nothing like the phenomenal changes which took place in the second half of this decade. Tommy continued with his often heartfelt editorials which almost always began a DPF newsletter. His topics ranged from the idea that the main objective of the club was to bring happiness and self-acceptance to our lives for what we loved to do, to political messages, although these were far more prevalent in the 1990s. He often discussed his travels with Marky and visits from out of town guests, but more often he expounded on his philosophy of why we are like we are. In the June 15, 1987, newsletter Tommy hinted in his writing that having a full time job and running DPF was getting to be way too much for him, and in the October 15, 1987, issue he announced that he had quit his job, saying he was scared that he wouldn't be able to make a living, but excited to be able to give much, much more of his time to DPF. There were many new departments and developments during these five years, with the following particularly successful:

The correspondence list grew with minor changes (the sex or gender was added in December 15, 1987) with as many as 144 new and renewing members in June of 1990. Members could opt to have their information listed twice a year at an additional fee of $10.00 and for an extra $50.00 members could receive their newsletters first class. There were changes in format such as the printing moving from reading horizontally to vertically in April of 1988. The "Andy" logo which was at the top of each newsletter was absent from the August and October 1988 issues, but back again in December of 1988. Credit cards were accepted for orders over $75.00 beginning in June of 1990. This came in handy as DPF was selling all kinds of items by the end of the decade, including several brands of diapers (at least one developed and marketed by Tommy himself), plastic pants (Baby Heaven and Lang), all kinds of baby clothing, locking diaper pins and alarms, baby paddles (the price began at $39.99 and soon dropped to $29.99, as I suspect there weren't a lot of babies getting spanked!) as well as stories, tapes, videos and publications.

Even though things were going well with DPF, a sad incident took place in 1989 when a member in the mid-west was arrested on charges of child pornography and child abuse. He was indicted in mid-April of 1990 of those charges and convicted. Tommy announced in the June 15, 1990, newsletter that "to the best of our knowledge, no further investigations have been made since that time." It was assumed that since this member was Involved in DPF, with pictures of him in the newsletters and the photo album, the FBI, which was involved in the case, made visits to many residences of DPF members; many I knew well, which was terrifying as one can imagine to all these folks who were more than likely as innocent as can be. This was a very dark period for the members, and Tommy reiterated DPF's policy of not condoning any member's involvement whatsoever with children or others under legal age. I personally expected a visit, but was happy not to receive one! At some point the FBI must have realized that this guilty member was a "bad apple" in an otherwise innocent community and stopped their visits to the relief of all.

This decade ended with DPF's Tenth Anniversary. Tommy wrote in his opening remarks in the June 15, 1990, issue, "In 1987, when DPF changed from a 'hobby' to a full time 'career,' my goal was to provide everything that DPFers wanted and needed to make their lives happy. First, I was determined to make our diapers, plastic pants and all our other adult baby clothes the best and most authentic in the world. I also wanted to provide a whole series of publications, stories, case histories, letters, a photo album, a resource directory, and more. I wanted all these publications, and the Newsletter, to be professional and equal to the best in the world. In addition, I wanted to provide audio tapes and videos that would also be both professional and sexually exciting for everyone. I wanted to help every member achieve exciting and erotic reality in all their fantasies. Finally, in order to make it easier for everyone to avail themselves of all these things, I wanted to be able to accept all major credit cards. As part of DPF's Tenth Anniversary I am happy to announce that we have achieved all these goals --and more."

DPF ends the decade in a very good place, but there is more and more mention of "computers" and members finding others in new chat rooms; and with the advent of the home computer, everything was beginning to change as we can see when we look at the next decade.


DPF continued to grow in the early nineties, attracting as many as a record 224 new and renewing members by the December 15, 1993, newsletter. The dark days of FBI visits were over and Tommy looked forward to a new decade by defining DPF's role to "help us feel good about ourselves, help us correspond or meet to share similar interests and needs with others, and to improve and create loving relationships." Even though he had resigned from his regular job, Tommy seemed overwhelmed with the correspondence and other DPF work he was doing each day to keep the club going. By 1991 a woman named Sharon joined Tommy as his assistant. He described her as a woman who was cleaning his apartment before being offered the job. There was "talk" that she might have been his sister, but I have no evidence of that. She did give advice to a member in the June 15, 1991, newsletter which was quite good. For some reason I do not find that she did this again; she was valuable, however, in getting orders filled, assisting Tommy with correspondence, and dealing with companies with which DPF was producing both garments as well as publications. In 1992 Tommy and Marky moved to a new home with more space for DPF to expand and function, but still in Mill Valley, California.

Perhaps the most visible change in the organization was the alteration of the name, which was hinted about in February of 1992 and unveiled in the April 15, 1992, newsletter with the heading DIAPER PAIL FRIENDS, the new name. The "Andy" logo was missing from this issue, as it was periodically deleted, by mistake, as Tommy would report. The change of name was primarily an effort to attract more females, but it is unclear if it had much effect. Women were joining the club, but not in the numbers that many hoped. There were several new departments which were perhaps created to address the lack of female ABs as well as "mommies," including DPF Babysitter Services and an application for the same in this same April, 1992, newsletter. Although only one of the four initial "babysitters" was female, the list grew much longer with many women offering their services as babysitters to both male and female DPFers, as Tommy most referred to adult babies at that time. These sitters offered a variety of services, clearly spelled out, with hourly, daily, and weekend rates. There were some who did not charge, however.

Another new addition was the "Call Mommy" feature. A woman identified as M. Gordon of Lafayette, Indiana, listed times when she would receive calls from babies for a fee: $25 for members and $35 for non-members of DPF for each fifteen minutes of talk. The invitation to call read, "Mommy understands and is waiting for your call!" I don't know anyone who called this number and the arrangement did not seem to last long, but must have been popular, if expensive, for those who wanted to talk to a "real" woman. When DPF joined the Internet, this feature was resurrected under the "Call Mommy" URL.

In the October 15, 1991, newsletter, Tommy announced "New Directions" for reaching out to others regarding better understanding infantilism through advertising, through positive stories and interviews with major magazines on our community, assisting in new research with doctors and scientists who want to better understand infantilism, and by assisting abused children through CHILDHELP USA. This organization, CHILDHELP USA, was one which was chosen by Tommy for several reasons, including to "counteract the false notion that Infantilism involves real children." The organization had nothing to do with DPF, except that it gladly accepted its contributions. By 1991 it had been in business for over thirty years and operated CHILDHELP Village in Palm Springs, California, which was a residential facility treating 80 severely abused children ranging in age from two to 12. Former First Lady Barbara Bush was the Honorary National Chairman at the time, and the organization used at least 83% of its funds to support not only the above-mentioned program, but also a 24 hour hot line (with 300,000 calls in 1991), research on the psychological and sociological impact of child abuse (along with the University of California) and foster family evaluation and training services. It therefore seemed to be a good choice for DPF to adopt this organization. There were many contributions from members who were listed in each newsletter, and several large checks were mailed to the organization who responded with grateful thanks, including a contribution of $1,311.11, noted in the February 15, 1994, newsletter.

The outreach involving television shows hit a high point during this period as Tommy was contacted by the "Phil Donahue Show" for participants and his input. He worked with the staff of the show for months and persuaded several DPF members to appear on the show in the fall of 1991, although he did not appear on this first show himself. He may have been scheduled to appear on a follow-up Donahue show, but due to extremely negative response, the second show was never produced. Tommy felt that the show itself was positive and did much to introduce our community in a positive light, but the audience and viewers evidently felt otherwise. The show was "pulled" (not run) in many markets including Seattle, as local stations felt this particular topic unfit for their viewers. Tommy was hurt by this reaction, but other shows followed, often with a better audience reception even though hostility was always evident from some in the audience. The participants were stoic and sincere, for the most part, and a credit to our community. By the end of 1992 there were four major talk shows on ABDLs, including the "Jerry Springer Show." Tommy felt that the best of these was the "Doctor Dean Show," which was the only local show of the bunch. It seems that the popularity of infantilism/ABDL as a topic for these shows was never as popular as it was in the early 90s. It is interesting that when a musical (labeled a rock opera) titled "Jerry Springer, the Opera" debuted at the Edinburgh Festival, in Edinburgh, Scotland, and then went on to Broadway, one of the characters was a "baby" in a diaper and portrayed with comic flare. I was lucky enough to see this critically acclaimed production in Edinburgh.

In the August 15, 1993, newsletter (which for some reason was dated 1992), Tommy lists his plans for DPF to become more of a world presence. There were more and more members from every part of the world in each issue already, but Tommy wanted to create a "New World Magazine" which would hit international bookstores with articles and photographs. He wanted to expand his ever-growing list of special interest publications, and he wanted to stage a "World Convention." Many of his publications were offered for sale in various parts of the world, as I witnessed, but I'm not sure that he was responsible for their being placed in these adult bookstores in places such as London, Paris, Amsterdam, and Tokyo. He did plan on several world conventions, the first announced in the October 15, 1993, issue and he called it WABADL (Worldwide Adult Baby and Diaper Lover Convention). There was detailed information on various activities, many of which were to take place in a hotel in Las Vegas with three floors of rooms reserved just for "us." Sadly, in the February 15, 1994, newsletter, he announced that this event was canceled due to lack of early registration. Many of us wondered if this was really the reason as so many of us had registered as soon as it was announced; however many others wrote that they were not able to commit to a summer 1994 function in the fall of 1993 as they would not know if they could be off from work at that time. At any rate, Tommy announced plans for a similar event the summer of 1995 and again in Palm Springs in 1996. None of these worldwide conventions took place unfortunately. It seems that the last large DPF-sponsored party was the one in 1990. However, local parties seemed to proliferate, which Tommy encouraged, growing and growing until many of them rivaled Tommy's parties in size and scope. There were three to four day events held in Los Angeles in 1993 (by very important DPF contributors and icons Angela Bauer and Don Davis) and Sarasota, Florida, summer 1991, (by charter member John C. and John H., valuable DPF contributors) as well as smaller gatherings around the country.

It is interesting that in announcing his first worldwide convention, WABADL, it appears to be the first Instance when he used the terms "Adult Baby and Diaper Lover" even though he continued to call his members DPFers rather than ABs or DLs, as has become the accepted terminology today. During the first half of the 1990s, Tommy and DPF introduced many new products, publications and Ideas to help us find more "happiness" in what we do. Some of these were, as follows:

In late 1993 Tommy wrote, "Can we do better?" and asked for complaints. These appeared in the February, 1994, newsletter and there were many, including the lack of pictures of females in the newsletters. Of course, the pictures Tommy placed in the newsletter reflected what members sent to him. Soon after that Tommy began selling pictures of very attractive female models in sexy poses and in diapers, of course! One could purchase sets of pictures of each of these models for a substantial fee. By June of 1994 Tommy was using Page Marker 5.0 on MAC, photos were scanned and printed on a Limo printer, and art work was reproduced using Adobe Stremline 3.0, making the newsletter cleaner and clearer. There was much more talk of computers and using sites on Compuserve to meet others. Even though DPF was not yet a presence on the Internet, a new feature was introduced in August of 1995, which was "Baby Talk," where one could call a 900 number and register with an ad and consequently make contact over the phone with others who either responded to your ad or those with whom you wished to correspond. As more and more people purchased home computers, there was a shift away from DPF as a printed enterprise and to DPF as an Internet presence as we shall see in the last half of the 1990s.


During the last half of this decade DPF shifted, somewhat, from being accessed as a printed newsletter to its new presence on the Internet established in 1996. In the October 15, 1996, newsletter, Tommy announced that the DPF website, www.DPF.com, was a tremendous success. And in the September 17, 1996, edition of a publication titled "The Web Magazine," DPF was selected to be among the first five hundred sites (out of millions, according to Tommy) to be reviewed; this review gave DPF its highest rating. In the February 15, 1997, newsletter, it was announced that the roster was going to be part of the website, with members having the option to be listed there or not. There was concern from members regarding security and Tommy addressed this in the October 14, 1996, issue, stating "DPF is actively involved on the Internet (World Wide Web) because we think that we can bring a lot of happiness to more people this way. However, DPF membership files are not available for any Internet access. Only information that is approved by DPF members (such as On-Line Roster Listings, Party Announcements, Photos, etc. ) is ever transferred to our commercial Web site, which is a separate computer (an Internet Service Provider). This information is not in any way connected to our membership files (Rosters, etc. ) which are maintained on the DPF computers."

In the February 15, 1998, newsletter, the DPF Teen Forum was introduced as part of the DPF website. This was helpful to many teens who were more than likely thrilled to be able to talk to like-minded peers, but proved to be controversial when older people gained access and posed as teenagers. I have no idea how prevalent this was, but overall the Teen Forum was positive for many under the age of eighteen. As of January 15, 1998, there were 28,918 hits and 315 messages (which were moderated) left in this forum.

Tommy reported in the August 15, 2000, newsletter, "Changes are taking place so fast. In 1995 I had never heard of a thing called the Internet (or the World Wide Web. ) Thanks (to) Pammi Jo and Steve for wonderful, hard work they did so many years ago to make DPF one of the first AB/DL sites on the web." The issue was dedicated to these two, a married couple (and friends of mine), who obviously were responsible for the initial set up.

By the year 2000 there was something very much like our chat rooms today, called "Baby Talk Internet Conference" which had 4,565,651 hits that year, plus 33,721 posted messages! By October 15, 2000, It was reported by Tommy that 65% of members were reading the newsletter on the Internet and 35% from the printed edition. The Internet revolution was in full swing, but whether DPF benefited from its presence on the Internet is questionable. For many it signaled the downfall of the organization for various reasons, but perhaps its "shelf life" was simply coming to an end. Twenty years is a very long time to sustain any organization.

The printed version of the DPF newsletter had grown to 94 printed pages by October of 1996, with 335 new or renewing members. There were over 49 international members from countries all over the world, but there were only ten women, two of whom were listed jointly with their husbands or boyfriends. Of these members, 324 were listed as white, 1 was listed as Asian (Chinese), five were listed as black (Afro-American) and 5 people did not state their race. Letters to DPF dominated the the newsletters and were often divided by category. Party reports were an important part of the newsletter as these became more and more popular with reports as far away as Israel and Sweden. Tommy continued writing about plans for "international" parties, such as Camp WABADL to be held July 25-31, 1997, and another to be held sometime in the year 2000. Both of these were canceled, the latter one as Tommy stated that "just too much was going on in my life." One interesting note regarding the printed version of the newsletters is that the fairly small logo of "Andy" was greatly increased in size beginning with the June 15, 1994, newsletter. The font of the title "Diaper Pail Friends" also changed slightly. Soon after, one of the early "pioneers" of our community, Florence, died on November 16, 1997. Her pre-DPF and later contributions with her publications and items of clothing were enormous in getting the whole movement on its feet in the 70s and 80s. She was such an important part of our existence and it was sad to say "good-bye."

Products continued to be the main source of income for the DPF enterprise. By 1996 there were ten different diapers, both disposable (Babylove) and cloth (Curity style, Gerber style, Baby Heaven, flannel), training pants, plastic pants (seventeen varieties), rubber pants, diaper covers, onesies (four styles), overalls, shortalls, footed sleepers. snap front romper playsuits, DPF t-shirts, baby dresses, pacifiers, bottle nipples, rubber and vinyl bed pads and mattress covers and even appliques. There were almost three hundred stories for purchase, plus a variety of tapes, magazines, reports, comic books, DPF produced videos and an assortment of other products.

It should be noted, however, that there were more and more reports of individuals not receiving purchases on time or not at all. I personally had a close friend who supplied Tommy with bespoke plastic and training pants; he was often not reimbursed for his products and eventually severed ties with DPF. Other folks complained more and more of problems. I do not know why these problems existed as Tommy seemed to be extremely concerned with being fair and honest. I do know that my personal notes to him were returned often with curt replies from others. DPF was branching out into new directions, but a forecast of its demise seemed to be in evidence as we look at the first part of the next decade.


The printed newsletter continued through at least 2003. I received my last newsletter in December of that year; and even though others seem to remember receiving them after that date, I have yet to see evidence of a later newsletter. The format continued pretty much as it had with the last newsletter of Diaper Pail Friends beginning with Tommy's editorial, in that issue dealing with credit card issues, followed by letters and pictures from members, these being the backbone of DPF from the start. A printed newsletter subscription, which began at $3.00 a year in 1980, was now $50.00 for the USA and Canada, and $66.00 for the rest of the world. A Babyclub Membeship (on-line only) was $30.00.

There were major parties organized and run by DPF members, but having nothing to do directly with Tommy or DPF, in various parts of the world and reported on by the planners in the newsletter. Perhaps the most ambitious and successful were those organized by member Jeffrey T. held in Florida, Tennessee, Georgia, and Las Vegas under the name "Diaperfest." There were twenty- four Party Planners (formerly called Regional Directors) by 2003. These parties continue to this day, now run more like conventions attracting hundreds of people complete with vendors, formal presentations and, above all, well-structured, unlike the free form parties of the DPF days. Tommy would be very happy to see this.

The Babysitting list grew in the year 2003 to include a total of thirty-nine, which was amazing as this program attracted few willing sitters in the beginning. Many of these were women; and even though most charged for their time, others were willing to be the caretaker of babies just for the enjoyment or for very little remuneration.

By April of 2003, the newsletter was beginning to show signs that perhaps Tommy was no longer watching over it as he had in the past. There were several articles which were repeated and many empty spaces. Orders were often not filled or there were lengthy delays, and unfortunately too many people remember this when they remember DPF rather than all the good the organization did for so many.

The Internet website continued to draw large numbers, and by 2003 Tommy reported that he had over five thousand people who had been or were currently members of the DPF organization. By 2003 important DPF sites and pages were as follows:

DPF Main Sitewww.dpf.com
BabyClub info www.dpf.com/scribetemp.html
Babysitters www.dpf.com/sitter.html
Call Mommy www.dpf.com/Call_Mommy.html
DPF Catalog Request www.dpf.com/catalog.html
Links www.dpf.com/links.html
AB/DL Parties www.dpf.com/party.html
Search DPF Roster www.dpf.com/roster.html
DPF Online Store store.yahoo.com/dpf
DPF Web Conference babytalk.abyclub.com
DPF Live Chat babytalk.abyclub.com
Complete Story Search  secure.advwebsys.com/catalogs/dpf/

Long after the apparent demise of DPF these sites could still be accessed with interesting information found, and even now (2016) there is still some of the original website to be found. It has been reported for several years that the URL for DPF is for sale, even though the seller is never identified. A group in Great Britain currently (2016) is using not only the URL but many of the original DPF articles as their own! The members of this club seem to be mainly from England.

Even though there were a total of 448 new and renewing members in August of 2001, the number had dropped to 160 members by December of 2003. This could be explained because members were accessing most of their information from the Internet, plus the cost of the newsletter had become more than many were willing to pay. However, it also could be explained that DPF was at the end, sadly, of its existence. There was "talk" that Tommy might not be well and might not be at the helm of the organization, but I had no evidence of this in 2003. The printed newsletter ended and the website grew unattended and gradually unused.

Longtime iconic member and DPF newsletter contributor Angela Bauer (and someone close to Tommy) writes,

"I have no inside information about Tommy after early 2007. At that time my husband (Don Davis), retired, phoned Tommy to order more DPF gauze prefold diapers. Tommy talked to Don as usual, but added that Don needed to place the actual order on-line. Several minutes later, as Don was trying to access the DPF Store website, Don got a call from Mark saying that DPF had been out of business for over a year largely because Tommy's memory had failed. That evening I tried to phone Tommy (but) the number Don had used had been disconnected. Mark never responded to my subsequent snail mail or email."

In 2008 Angela had this to say, which I think is very important to remember:

"Sure, Tommy turned DPF into a business from just a hobby following his early retirement as a bank executive. Chances are that at no time did the profits from DPF approach his income as a banker. DPF had the first large roster of AB folks. Many of us made life-long friends exchanging snail letters and waiting for the grey envelopes with the newsletters and rosters. Please try to remember when Tommy started the on-line contact system those were the pioneer days of the WWW. Programs allowing DD to monitor this site were not available to Tommy way back. My guess is his health and memory were failing by the time DPF could have bought improved software and servers. Would it be fair to consider the positive things Tommy and DPF did for the ABDL community? Could we use our compassion to get past any shipping or other errors DFP might have made as it grew beyond what Tommy could do on his own?

Right now Tommy is in need of prayers. Markie still takes loving care of Tommy."

Angela's request is beautifully and thoughtfully written and I feel it is a fitting conclusion to this amazing journey begun in late 1979.

I do not know if Tommy is alive as I write this in 2016 or if we have lost him. There was much talk of his suffering from Alzheimer's disease as so many do, but again I have no evidence of that. The person who would know more about all of this than anyone else would be his devoted friend and partner Mark, but we have no contact with him at this time. He would certainly be the person to write a complete history of DPF and perhaps someday he will consider doing so.

Tommy's contribution to the ABDL/Little community is enormous. I can't think of anyone else or any other organization which has had more influence. Tommy always talked about our being happy and his club being the "happiness club." He has made me and thousands of other happy, and for that we will always be grateful.

[Thanks to Dave, Ron, BitterGrey, Angela, Mike and Jerry for their generous assistance. ]

- Updated:16 Dec 2016  1st:16 Dec 2016     

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