Book by Brian Burch, review by BitterGrey
Those that consider my writings needlessly defensive might wish to consider "The Adult Baby's Guidebook" by Brian Burch. This is a frank, personal account of growing up, from one particular and not necessarily typical ABDL. "This book is my direct, pure expression of the truest me."
"The Adult Baby's Guidebook" doesn't go into detailed 'how-to's. It also doesn't delve into underlying philosophies, rationales, or mechanisms. It is largely experiential: "We are all works in progress, yet we all have wisdom to share." (At this point, we should note that some of the book author's experiences and advocated practices may be illegal in some jurisdictions and are not necessarily endorsed by Understanding.Infantilism.Org.) As long as the book is interpreted as the thoughts and experiences of one AB/DL, which might or might not be relevant to others, the book can be useful.
To be clear, this is not the sort of book where you can check the index, read a section, and apply it. Parents skipping to the subsection relevant to parents are admonished "...you must read this book in its entirety." A cover-to-cover reading might be necessary. For example, that the author counts diaper lovers as adult babies is specified on the last page of the first section. Those who miss that detail might think that the book is intended for adult babies, not ABDLs in general. Those seeking a more accessible and practical book should consider Lee "Bridgett" Harrington's Toybag Guide to Age Play or Penny Barber's Age Play and Diaper Fetish Handbook.
The book must be read with care. For example, the section titled "Should you stop wearing diapers?" states "Bottom line, it's a choice." The qualification "...if your being will allow it..." is only added six pages later. Additionally, the second half of the book makes a number of references to God and the divine intent of creation. However, in the introduction it is explained that in the second half of the book, "God" refers not to the Judeo-Christian deity as it does in the first half, but also "the life-force, the universe, Mother Nature, God, Allah, or whatever."
Some difficulties are more dangerous. Most ABDL literature brings up pedophilia only when necessary. This avoids unnecessarily associating the two topics. In contrast, "The Adult Baby's Guidebook" makes several undeveloped references to pedophilia or child molestation even in just the first section. It also includes a subsection on pedophilia, which states that "there must be pedophilic ABDLs and homosexuals." As written, this statement is not technically correct. Infantilism, homosexuality, and pedophilia are not mutually exclusive. That is, they can occur in the same individual by coincidence. As a result, in any large population it is likely that there are some individuals who have more than one of these traits. However, there is technically no reason why there "must be" such individuals. To be clear, the section on peophilia ends with "There is no link between ABDLs and pedophilia." The interpretation of the subsection hinges on the last and smallest paragraph. Again, this book must be read carefully.
While it has many limitations, the book is not without merit. For example, it presents a new perspective on coming out. Previous discussions focused on external factors; the likelihood of acceptance from the parent or partner, whether they would benefit given their relationship, etc. Brian Burch focuses instead on internal factors. Are you seeking external acceptance as a substitute for internal acceptance? Have you gotten in touch with who you really are, such that you can now share your real self with others? Do you have sufficient self-acceptance to be OK if they reject you? Sadly, care is needed even in this section. Parents and urologists ideally would be focused on finding and correcting problems. As a result, faking urinary problems is not a reliable way to get diapers from unsupportive parents. If this option is discussed, this detail shouldn't be omitted.
While not a guidebook per se, "The Adult Baby's Guidebook" by Brian Burch is a frank account from one ABDL, free of candy-coating, structured arguments, careful wording, etc. It requires a careful, cover-to-cover reading. However, it also might be exactly what some looking for.
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| Last Update: 9 Dec 2015 | First: 9 Dec 2015
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