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Understanding Infantilism (.org)

When ABDLs have children of their own

By Stormbird

Everyone's story is different, but if you are reading this page you likely are ABDL and have children at home. I am a father of 4 boys ages 13 to 2.5. I also like to wear diapers. No, I do not have a medical need for them. I prefer to wear them. I feel better, more complete, or natural when diapered, and I have felt this way all my life. Here is how I have dealt with some of the issues.

My boys do know I wear diapers at night. There have been times when they have got up late at night after a bad dream and climbed in to bed with me and my wife, and bumped up against dads' diaper. One day my son at 10 years old asked me why I wore diapers at night. I chose to tell him that some times even adults have "problems" and need to wear diapers. I could have told him the truth. Which answer will you chose?

I knew that one day this question would come up and had put some thought into it, but maybe not enough. Perhaps I felt, at his young age, knowing the truth would do more harm than good. I had not considered all the consequences of my answer and would now have to live with it for the rest of my life. When he is older and if he asks again I may tell him the truth. Hopefully, when he is much older he would understand why I lied to him.

I do not openly wear diapers or associated apparel when children are present. My children could be shamed and teased without mercy should their friends see me walking around in a diaper. It is possible that my children would become social outcasts because I could not control my desires. However, I do have some shirts with cartoon characters on them that I wear anytime I choose. These are available anywhere so I would not consider them AB wear. These are the only things that someone might consider childish that I let my children see me in.

If you choose to openly wear diapers around the house your kids could be embarrassed to invite friends over. If your children don't have friends coming over to their house to play they will go to their friends houses, spending time with their friends' families instead of you. They will have to make up lies to their friends as to why they don't want to play at their own house. This is putting your children under undue stress and drives them away from you.

I do not hide my diaper supply; if my sons go into my closet they can see the box of diapers. They have seen them when the UPS man delivers a large box of diapers to the door so why hide them in my room. This also helps them know where not to take their friends when playing in the house.

Adult play is important to everyone's mental health, but adult play is just that, adult play! Children should in no way be included in this play. Up until now I have talked mainly about the diaper aspect of this, but AB's have other things that go along with the diapers. These can not be explained as having a medical need. Try as you might to keep your "stuff" hidden away this may not be enough. Children are by nature inquisitive and will explore every nook and cranny of your house. Even if you keep your adult toys locked up and the key with you, you still stand a good chance of being discovered. I live in fear of this day; my "stuff" is in a box under other boxes in the back of the attic. The children are not allowed in the attic unless and adult is with them. So I'm sure they will one day explore it alone and could find dad's secret box. I have not yet figured out how I will explain its contents to my boys, but it will depend on their ages at time of discovery. You will need to have an explanation ready for your children.

Children need to see their parents as an authority figure, not as a baby. Children must respect their parents. A parent running around the house in a diaper and romper will not command respect from anyone including children. This can have an effect on how you relate to your children and they relate to you when it becomes necessary to have a serious discussion about sex, drugs, and other important life challenges.

It is every parent's duty to protect and nurture their children. However to do this a parent must also take care of their needs too. We all need to escape the daily rigors of life once in a while. For AB's and DL's this escape is just a little out of the ordinary, so we must make adjustments to protect our children from any harm this could potentially cause them.

I sincerely hope this page helps you in some way. Contact me[mail] if you have other questions or comments.

- Updated:20 March 2011     

Do you have Questions, tips, suggestions, or other feedback?

  Reader Comments:
  • Loren offered this advice: "I am a parent (father) who is an infantilist (AB). My children are in their 20s. My advice is: don't hide it from your children; they will find out anyway. When you do disclose, use liberal amounts of wisdom and discretion. Keep your disclosures "clinical" in nature; your kids don't need to see your stash of diapers, for example, unless they ask.

    Pre-adolescent children are probably too young to understand (and probably too young to keep your secret); once your kids reach adolescence, however, you can pretty much trust them to comprehend your issues (and to keep quiet about them). But every family is different. There are no absolutes here.

    My daughter found out quite by accident, and was worried more about the fact that I had hidden it from her than about the infantilism itself. Once I explained my infantilism to her, she was completely understanding, and still loves me as her Daddy. We have since engaged in a number of conversations, where we have discussed the subject quite rationally. Go figure!"
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